Time for a trade-in

The wife of one of my friends shared this with me when we were talking about the toll that age takes on your body. Are you ready for a trade-in?

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model . . .

1. I have lumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull - but that's not the worst of it.
   
   
2. My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were once as sleek as a little MG - now they look more like my mom's Buick.
   
   
3. My seat cushions have split open at the seams. My seats are sagging.
   
   
4. Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Ben & Jerry's opened a shop in my neighbourhood.
   
   
5. Air bags? Forget it. The only bags I have these days are under my eyes. Not counting the saddlebags, of course.
   
   
6. I have soooooo many miles on my odometer. Sure, I've been many places and seen many things, but when is the last time an appraiser factored life experiences against depreciation?
   
   
7. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
   
   
8. My reaction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
   
   
9. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
   
   
10. I'm burning fuel at an inefficient rate. But here's the worst of it: almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, I leak fluids. I'm so ready for a trade in! Anyone know where I can get a good deal?

Praise the Lord, we know one day we will get a new body. That's a trade-in every believer looks forward to!

"You can't leave yet!"

Becky and I were watching the grands last Sunday night while their parents were out of town. We had planned on going to Mom's on Memorial Day so Becky had told me to go on home and sleep so I could be fresh for the trip and she would just sleep there until the kids got home. It was about 10 p.m. when I got up to leave when my little Hayden said with a worried look on his face, " You can't leave. Mommy and Daddy are not home yet." I had to convince him he wasn't going to be alone that his MeMe was going to stay there until they got home. Finally he understood and kissed me good night and told me bye.

Down deep inside he knew that his protectors were not at home and he thought both of us were leaving. His words still ring in my ear this morning, "You can't leave yet."

How many people are faced with the choice of leaving or staying everyday. Even some who hear the words, "You can't leave yet" still walk out the door without remorse. That's why it's good to remember that a choice is such a powerful thing. It can touch a heart and it can change a life. It can bring us closer to God and make Heaven smile or it can bring heartache and despair in the lives of others it affects. Each day we are given a thousand choices. May you make all of yours for kindness. May you make your whole life a choice for love, joy, and God.

Just realize your choice makes a difference in somebody else's life as well. It just might be the one that cries, "You can't leave yet!"

Are You Ready For Summer?

It's going to be a busy summer. We honor graduates this weekend, Camp Meeting next weekend and then Father's Day. 10 days then in California with my babies and the 49ers. Then 4th of July, General Assembly, and trying to plan an Old Fashion Daytime Vacation Bible School for August before school starts. Whew....makes me tired thinking about it! (LOL!)

To top it off possible knee surgery as well before the kiddies reassemble for school. Looks like it will be a very busy summer.

Yet no matter how busy don't leave God or the church out of your equation.
If your business had no orders during the next three months you would be shut down by the fall. So must the church continue to operate during these 3 months and it is totally dependent on your faithful support.

So enjoy your vacation and the time you have off, but don't forget your church. You could be the difference between the doors staying open or closing.

Thanks

For every soldier, sailor, pilot, ranger, beret, infantryman, calvaryman, marine, seal, and guardsmen that stormed the beaches, crossed the deserts, climbed the mountains, dropped from the skies, fought in the sea and the air in places most of us cannot even pronounce; I have one simple word for you:

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God bless America and God bless you for your service to our country.

Happy Birthday Pop

Friday, May 25, 2012, would have been my dad's 82nd birthday. He's been with Jesus now for over 24 years and it seems just like yesterday that he left this world behind. His last words to his congregation on the Wednesday night before he died were, "If I don't see you again down here, I will see you glory." Less than 12 hours later he was in the arms of Jesus.

On this Memorial Day/Pentecost Sunday weekend we honor both our warriors of our armed services and warriors of the faith. There are some things I learned from my Pop that I will never forget and I would like to share them with you in honor of his memory today. Here are some of the things he taught me:

-Love God in spite of what people say or do to you.

-God will always work things out if you will trust Him.

-The Church of God is not perfect, but love, honor, and protect it's message and heritage.

-Give young preachers the chance to preach that others did or did not give you.

-Pay your tithes.

-Pray for God's direction and then walk in the path He puts before you.

-Respect your elders and those over you in the Lord.

-Love your family and don't wait too late to tell them.

-Whereever the Lord or the church sends you do your very best.

-Don't let things get you down-look up!

-Just remember-the answer is already on the way.

Since there are no birthdays in heaven I'll cherish the ones we had together down here. I just wanted you who read this blog to know my heritage is precious to me. Our denomination is not perfect and it doesn't always treat people fairly. It's man-made and that's the reason why. But there is one man that influenced me beyond all comprehension and he laid down his life for this church because he loved it and believed in what it stood for. I just wanted to say thanks for all that he taught me and look forward to seeing him again one day.

Don't Forget To Remember

Memorial Day was first observed after the Civil War but at that time it was known as “Decoration Day”.  There was understandably a great need across our land for families to honor the soldiers who had died in the war.  There were groups of people both in the North and the South who were decorating graves and honoring their loved ones who had died in battle.

In the North, there was a druggist named Henry C. Welles, who lived in Waterloo, N.Y.  His idea to do something to honor those who had died was noted by others in his town and they formed a plan to devote a special day for that purpose, so on May 5, 1866, the people in the village of Waterloo, made arrangements of spring flowers into wreaths, crosses, and bouquets.  When they had done this, they placed one of these arrangements on each veteran's grave.  The veterans of the village also led a processional to the cemeteries and flags were flown at half-mast all over the town in honor of those who had died in the war.  This observance in Waterloo, N.Y., continued on thereafter as a yearly observance.

In the South there was a group of women who were probably one of the earliest groups who decorated the graves of their fallen husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers.  There was a hymn written about this in 1867, by Nella L. Sweet.  The dedication reads: “To The Ladies of the South who are Decorating the Graves of the Confederate Dead” and the hymn reads:

"Kneel Where Our Loves Are Sleeping”
Words by G.W.R.
Music by Mrs. L. Nella Sweet


Kneel where our loves are sleeping, Dear ones days gone by,
Here we bow in holy reverence, Our bosoms heave the heartfelt sigh.
They fell like brave men, true as steel, And pour'd their blood like rain,
We feel we owe them all we have, And can but weep and kneel again.


CHORUS
Kneel where our loves are sleeping, They lost but still were good and true,
Our fathers, brothers fell still fighting, We weep, 'tis all that we can do.


VERSE 2:
Here we find our noble dead, Their spirits soar'd to him above,
Rest they now about his throne, For God is mercy, God is love.
Then let us pray that we may live, As pure and good as they have been,
That dying we may ask of him, To open the gate and let us in.

At that time, John A. Logan, was commander-in-chief of the Grand Army of the Republic, which was a veterans’ organization.  He was so moved by the southern ladies’ practice of decorating the graves of those who had fallen in the war that he wrote an order for the Union Army that Decoration Day be observed nationwide.  It was observed for the first time on May 30, 1868.  That date was chosen because it was not the anniversary date of any battle.  A portion of the order reads:

General Order No. 11
Headquarters, Grand Army of the Republic Washington, D.C.,
May 5, 1868

Decoration Day
The 30th day of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country… In this observance no form or ceremony is prescribed, but posts and comrades will in their own way arrange such fitting services and testimonials of respect as circumstances may permit…Let us, then, at the time appointed, gather around their sacred remains and garland the passionless mounds above them with choicest flowers of springtime; let us raise above them the dear old flag they saved from dishonor; let us in this solemn presence renew our pledges to aid and assist those whom they have left among us as sacred charges upon the Nation's gratitude,--the soldier's and sailor's widow and orphan.

May 30, 1868, was the first official Northern observance and springtime flowers were placed upon the graves of both Union and Confederate soldiers that were buried in the new National Cemetery in Arlington, VA.  However, at that time, the South refused to accept the order and instead honored their war dead on different days.  It wasn't until after World War I that this began to change because Memorial Day was set aside for honoring those who had made the ultimate sacrifice in all American wars and not just the Civil War.

Since Waterloo, N.Y., was a place that was well known for its longstanding observance of Decoration Day, some of the leaders of that city formed a committee to gain national recognition.  In 1966, the United States did recognize Waterloo, N.Y., as the birthplace of Memorial Day and was declared so by President Lyndon B. Johnson.

The term, "Memorial Day", was first used in 1882, but did not become commonly used until after World War II.  It was declared the official name by federal law in 1967.   Later, in 1971, Memorial Day was declared a national holiday to be held on the last Monday of May every year instead of the original date of May 30.  There are some who believe that changing Memorial Day from May 30th to the last Monday of May has caused the day to lose much of it’s significance.

Over the years, many people began to use Memorial Day as a day to remember all loved ones who have died.  While that is commendable, it is of utmost importance that we continue to bear in mind the original reason for Memorial Day and not forget those who gave their “last full measure of devotion”.

In 1997, Congress established The National Moment of Remembrance.  This is a time when Americans are asked to pause at 3:00 P.M. on Memorial Day, for one full minute to remember and honor those who died for our freedom.  This is something that everyone can do no matter where they happen to be.  Some organizations stop whatever they are doing at this time and place their hand over their heart as Taps is played.

It is important to remember that Memorial Day was not declared a holiday so that we can have a long weekend off from work, go to the lake, or take a vacation.  It was set aside as a day to honor those who gave their lives that we might live in freedom.

Memorial day this year will be observed on Monday May 28th.  Take the time to go to a Memorial Day service, fly the American flag, teach your children and grandchildren the true meaning of Memorial Day, and don't forget to remember.

Dealing With The Unexpected

Everyone one of us has to deal with stuff we don't expect. You have two choices when it happens: You deal with it and keep going or you give up and quit. I refuse to do the latter and chose to do the first.

Remember this about quitting:
-It takes more energy to quit because you always wonder what might have been.

-It takes more determination to quit because you always wish you'd never given up.

-It takes more anger to quit because you get mad with yourself that you gave up.

-It takes more spite to quit because they only one you're hurting is yourself.

-It takes more frustration to quit because you prove everyone that said it couldn't be done right.

Learning to deal with stuff and moving forward means:

-You have determination to finish even though you might get a slower toward the end.

-You will prove those who said it couldn't be done wrong.

-You will show that in spite of the odds you had a made up mind in the beginning.

-You will replace fear, frustration, and doubt, with courage, peace, and hope.

-You will make it because going backward is not an option.

Things I've Learned (Part 5)

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be
loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life,
but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about
fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better
know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare
yourself to the best others can do.

I've learned that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned that it's taken me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that you should always leave
loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy
a relationship is at first, the passion fades
and there had better be something else
to take its place.

I've learned that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love
you the way you want them to doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and
what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I've learned your family won't always be there for you.
It may seem funny, but people you aren't
related to can take care of you and love you
and teach you to trust people again.
Families aren't always biological.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a
while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by
others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

Things I've Learned (Part 4)

I've learned that one should keep his words both
soft and tender, because tomorrow
he may have to eat them.

I've learned that a smile is an inexpensive way to
improve your looks.

I've learned that I can't choose how I feel, but I
can choose what I do about it.

I've learned that a peacock today may be a feather
duster tomorrow.

I've learned that nobody wants to know what you're
doing until you're doing something that
you don't want anyone to know.

I've learned that when your newly born grandchild
holds your little finger in his little
fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned that those who reach their goals too
easily have aimed too low.

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of
the mountain, but all the happiness
and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned that when packing for a vacation, you
should take half as many clothes as you
think you will need and twice as much
money. Your clothes and money should
run out about the same time!

I've learned that stain resistant carpet will stain.

I've learned that it is best to give advice in only
two circumstances; when it is requested
and when it is a life-threatening
situation.

I've learned that a good friend is the one who tells
you how you really look in your jeans.

I've learned that the less time I have to work with,
the more things I get done.

I've learned that we should be glad God doesn't
give us everything we ask for.

Things I've Learned (Part 3)

I've learned that I always think of the right thing
to say when it's too late.

I've learned that even at the age of fifty-eight,
you can still feel like a twelve
year old child when your mother is
talking to you.

I've learned that no matter what their ages or how
far away they may be, you never stop
wanting to keep a protective arm
around your children or grands.

I've learned to gather all the crumbs thrown my way.
They soon form a lovely, thick slice
of life and memories.

I've learned that when you want a garment to shrink,
it won't, and when you don't, it will
come out of the dryer and fit your cat!

I've learned that everyone you meet deserves to
be greeted with a smile.

I've learned that we men would rather be lost for hours
than stop and ask for directions.

I've learned that no one is perfect until you fall
in love with them.

I've learned that life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned that opportunities are never lost;
someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned that there was nothing better in my childhood than my
dog waiting for me on the front porch,
wagging his tail when I got home.

I've learned that when you harbor bitterness,
happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned that it is just as wrong to be rude to a
child as to an adult. In fact, it may
be more unforgivable.

Things I've Learned (Part 2)

I've learned that money doesn't buy class.

I've learned that it's those small daily happenings
that make life so spectacular.

I've learned that once a relationship is over,
if you experienced more smiles than
tears, then it wasn't a waste of time.

I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is
someone who wants to be appreciated
and loved.

I've learned never to humiliate another person.
Always give him an honorable way to
back down or out of something and
still save face.

I've learned that the Lord didn't do it all in one
day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned that if you are still talking about
what you did yesterday, you haven't
done much today.

I've learned that to ignore the facts does not
change the facts.

I've learned that when you plan to get even with
someone, you are only letting that
person continue to hurt you.

I've learned that you view other people's children
in a whole different light when you
have some of your own.

I've learned that the older I get, the smarter my
parents become.

I've learned that when your wife simply answers,
"nothing" when you ask her what's
wrong, you're in deep trouble.

I've learned that love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned that the easiest way for me to grow as
a person is to surround myself with
people smarter than I am.

Things I've Learned (Part 1)

I've learned that the best classroom in the world
is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned that when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned that just one person saying to me,
"You've made my day!" makes my day.

I've learned that I feel better about myself when
I make others feel better about themselves.

I've learned that having a child fall asleep in your
arms is one of the most peaceful
feelings in the world.

I've learned that what we have done for ourselves
alone dies with us. What we have done
for others and the world remains and
is immortal.

I've learned that one sincere apology is worth more
than all the roses money can buy.

I've learned that words harshly spoken are as difficult
to retrieve as feathers in a gale.

I've learned that being kind is more important than
being right.

I've learned that you should never say no to a
gift from a child.

I've learned that I can always pray for someone when
I don't have the strength to help him
in some other way.

I've learned that no matter how serious your life
requires you to be, everyone needs a
friend to act goofy with.

I've learned that sometimes all a person needs is a
hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned that simple walks with my father around
the block on summer nights when I was
a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the
faster it goes.

Every person has rights

If you live in America you have the right to be anything you want to be within the limits of our laws. Those laws require respect and honor or they prove to be worthless.


Recently our top leaders came down very hard on our sister state who affirmed a legal union between a man and a woman in a vote last week. This was not considered by most as an attack on the gay agenda, but the affirmation of what marriage is and should be. Somebody tell me what's wrong with that?


Sadly both the church and Christians get a bad name for standing up for what is right according to the Bible. Remember this still America. If you want to live whatever lifestyle you have that right. It's your privilege and your business.


Just don't get upset when things don't go your way. We as Christians disagree with your lifestyle, but love your soul. Please don't use the excuse God made me this way. The only thing you were born into was sin (as we all are), but the grace of Christ is able to change your heart, mind, and lifestyle.


Remember someone is praying for you.

12 Reasons To Buy A New Car

1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
   
2. Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopie cushion taped to your steering wheel.
   
3. You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a moped.
   
4. 15-Minute Jiffy Lube lasts for only 3 days.
   
5. Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take "The Club."
   
6. When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct-tape that windshield for you?"
   
7. While waiting at stop light, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.
   
8. For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.
   
9. You keep losing dates on left turns.
   
10. Your gas gauge measures in cubits.
    
11. Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
    
12. It hasn't been the same since Henry Ford borrowed it.

Are You Flawless?

As human beings we are flawed and imperfect. In fact, I believe that we are not meant to be without blemish. We're scraped and scarred, flawed on the inside and marred on outside. It's just the way we are. I never want to forget that "perfect" is only found in the dictionary or in the life of Jesus.

Even china may be closer to perfection than we humans. Every finished piece must undergo a final inspection. It is held up to a fierce, bright light and examined for imperfections. If even the slightest flaw is detected, the cup or plate or vase or sugar bowl is smashed to pieces. That's right. The blemished piece is never sold as a "second." If that piece of china is not flawless, it is reckoned to be no good at all.

I know that I cannot stand up to that kind of scrutiny. I have flaws I haven't even begun to explore yet. Yet, how many times a day are those words repeated by countless people feeling the sting of rejection? To be accepted as one is and not discarded as useless is more than just a wish, it is a deep, human need.

All of us are a sign everyday that simply identifies us as a work in progress. It means, take me as I am. I may not become what you want me to be, I'm far, far from perfect, but I have some great qualities, too, as well as my share of faults. You will have to take me as is and I'll take you that way, too.

As is will be the best guarantee any of us can offer. But quite frankly, most of the time we're getting a pretty good deal. Just remember you're not finished yet-He's still working on you. God loves you and will help you with your imperfections. Don't give up on Him because He will never quit working on you.

Don't Be A Mule-Faced Christian

A little Sunday school boy, on his first trip to the country, made a significant comment after he had viewed with childish curiosity his grandfather's large white mule. "Mamma," he said, "Grandpa's mule must be a very good Christian."

The mother was surprised at the association of Christianity with an animal that can provoke un-Christian like language, so she asked little Jake the reason for his conclusion.

His ready answer was: "Because Grandpa's mule has such a long face."

Psalm 126:1-3" When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them. The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad."

Joy is one of the fundamental aspects of a true Christian. But, unfortunately, joy is not often immediately associated with Christianity. Someone once remarked, "I might have entered the ministry if certain clergymen I knew had not looked and acted so much like undertakers." Joy can be described as a strong feeling of pleasure, gladness, cheerfulness or celebration.

Joy is a fruit of God's Spirit and therefore should be a fundamental characteristic of all Christians. It is interesting to note that the Greek word that is translated "joy" ( chara ) and the Greek word that is translated "grace" ( charis ) share the same common root word. As Christians, we experience a great deal of joy through the grace of God. Prior to baptism we were condemned to die for our sins (Romans 3:23; 6:23). But we received a pardon; we received grace from God through Jesus Christ. Therefore, an appropriate response should be gratefulness and joy.

Happiness is a feeling that often eludes us because we cannot control everything that happens to us our lives. Christian joy, however, is unique from happiness because it does not depend on any circumstances to operate.

God has given us three reasons why we should be joyful.

(1) We should be joyful in light of God's grace. God's grace is bigger than any sin we've ever committed. He has forgiven us of our sins through Jesus Christ and desires to have an eternally significant relationship with us. God has given us a free gift that we do not deserve, so let's celebrate!

(2) We can be confident that even in the midst of our deepest life struggles, God is going to lovingly comfort us. Even if we lose our health, wealth, or loved ones, we know that nothing can separate us from God's protection.

(3) We should take joy in the fact our lives can be shared in community with other Christians. When speaking of the Body of Christ, 1 Corinthians 12:26 says, "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it. If one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." We are not alone on our life journeys. We have a Christian support base that shares our burdens and our triumphs.

Three potential stumbling blocks to experiencing Christian joy are worrying, trying to earn God's love, and living outside the will of God. Christian joy has been made available to everyone, we just need to decide if we want to receive it or not and for heaven's sake show it in our expressions to a lost and dying world.

Things Moms Learn Over The Years...

-It is possible to make a bottle, change a diaper, and wind the automatic swing without remembering your full name or the day of the week.

-It is possible to take a knot out of wet shoelaces with your teeth.

-You don't need to figure out how to work the sewing machine to be a good mother.

-Girl Scout patches can be attached with a hot glue gun and stapler.

-Any machine that makes homemade bread or sews makes a good car jack.

-There is no such thing as a quick walk around the block with children. Every five steps you will have to stop to pick a flower in your neighbor's yard, toss a large rock, and wait for a snail to move.

-During the first eight seconds of a phone conversation, it is possible for children to go into the refrigerator, stuff an entire box of raisins up their nose, eat all of the expensive cheese, and hog-tie the cat with the jumprope.

-Trying to dress a toddler in a hurry is more difficult than stuffing a giant octopus into a loose mesh bag.
 
-It's possible to make a gift out of a shoebox, scotchtape, and aluminum foil.

-Grandparents will love a gift made out of a shoebox, scotch tape, and aluminum foil.

-Any toy that requires assembly will never look like the picture on the box.

-Any toy that requires assembly will never be as fun to play with as the box.

-Red Popsicles and yellow Kool-Aid will make an orange stain on white silk blouse.

-Nothing will get peanut butter out of the VCR.

-Be suspicious of any food that comes in blue.

-No matter how many hours you spend packing the car for a quick trip to the store, you will always forget the one item the baby will need the most.

-You can create extra space in your livingroom by putting the wooden blocks under the footrest of the recliner, stacking the Legos around the television set, and sliding the Hot Wheels track between the encyclopedia collection in the bookshelf. Or you can save time by moving all of your furniture into the garage.

-Most ovens are large enough to store train track, a stack of puzzles, and a Barbie Camper.

-There is no such thing as a bad singing voice.

-Learn to paint with your fingers and make mud-pies with your toes without worrying about what the carpet will look like.

-A paper with a purple crayon scribble on it might be a masterpiece to your child.

-Treat your children the way you want other people to treat them.

-Never leave a PTA meeting to use the restroom.

-There will never be a realistic "mother-of-two" Barbie.

-The most important things you know about being a mother -- you learn from your children.

A Mother's Dictionary

1. ADULT:  A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
   
2. BATHROOM:  A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.
   
3. COMMITTEE:  A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
   
4. DATE:  Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
   
5. EMPTY NEST:  See "WISHFUL THINKING."
   
6. FABLE:  A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
   
7. GUM:  Adhesive for the hair.
   
8. HINDSIGHT:  What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.
   
9. INFLATION:  Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
   
10. JUNK:  Dad's stuff.
    
11. KISS:  Mom's medicine.
    
12. LEMONADE STAND:  Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of 15 cents.
    
13. MAYBE:  No.
    
14. NAIL POLISH:  part of an assortment of make-up items such as lipstick, eyeliner, blush etc. which ironically make Mom look better while making her young daughter look "like a tramp."
    
15. OVERSTUFFED RECLINER:  Mom's nickname for Dad.
    
16. PANIC:  What a mother goes through when the darn wind-up swing stops.
    
17. QUIET:  A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
    
18. REFRIGERATOR:  Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen.
    
19. SPOILED ROTTEN:  What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma.
    
20. TOWELS:  See "FLOOR COVERINGS".
    
21. UNDERWEAR:  An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures the wearer will never have an accident.
    
22. VACATION:  Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.
    
23. WALLS:  Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.
    
24. XOXOXOXOXO:  Mom salutation guaranteed to make the already embarrassing note in a kid's lunch box even more mortifying.
    
25. "YIPPEE!":  What mother's shout the first day of school.
    
26. ZUCCHINI:  Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

Only A Mother...

Only a Mother . . .

• Can listen to the same knock-knock joke 27 times without hollering "Nobody's Home."
  
  
• Will be a Scrabble partner with a kid who thinks "cookie" begins with "k."
  
  
• Will unwind 56 feet of toilet paper so her little darling can have the empty roll... to make a Mother's Day present.
  
  
• Knows the location of every drive-through window in town.
  
  
• Knows the exact temperature a crayon will melt on the dashboard.
  
  
• Will try to hide a leafy green vegetable in a cookie.
  
  
• Knows the secret to happy grocery shopping with a toddler...visit the bakery aisle first and plug his lips with a big cream horn.
  
  
• Can cherish the 1,000th bleating of "Twinkle, Twinkle" from a budding violinist.
  
  
• Will show up at work wearing Mickey Mouse stickers on her posterior.
  
  
• Sees a Picasso in those scribbles decorating the fridge.
  
  
• Knows all the verses to "This Old Man."
  
  
• Can deal out emergency lunch money from the dryer lint filter.
  
  
• Can find her last good pair of panty hose hitching a wagon to a tricycle.
  
  
• Knows the sure-fire way to get three kids to eat carrots. buy two carrots.
  
  
• Is limber enough to wrestle a fitted sheet onto the top bunk bed.
  
  
• Invests fifty dollars in stale macaroons to help send the French Club to Disneyland.
  
  
• Will attempt to grow hydroponic tomatoes in one night for a last- minute science project.
  
  
• Can see across town and locate a missing shoe from her office desk phone.
  
  
• Can switch from cook to catcher in an instant.
  
  
• Has a bathtub that's filled with little yellow duckies.
  
  
• Seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

You Know You're A Mom When.....

1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
2. You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.
3. You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
4. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
5. Your child throws up, and you catch it.
6. Someone else's kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating.
7. You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.
8. You mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
9. Your child insists that you read Once Upon a Potty out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office, or, better yet, in the lobby of a Grand Central Station... and you do it.
10. You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
11. You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.
12. You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, while your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
13. You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
14. You hate the thought of his wife even more.
15. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
16. You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.
17. You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.
18. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
19. You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then obsess when he skips in without looking back the second time.
20. You can't bear to give away baby clothes--it's so final.
21. You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes!"
22. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
23. You read that the average five-year-old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is above average.
24. You say at least once a day, I'm not cut out for this job, but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Things Mom Would Never Say

1. "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"

2. "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"

3. "Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery"

4. "Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"

5. "Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"

6. "Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."

7. "The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."

8. "I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve"

9. "Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve."

Good Advice For Retired People

-Find something you enjoy and put your whole heart into it. Nothing beats having a hobby and having the health to enjoy it. And if your body has failed you, exercise your mind. It's a terrible thing to waste because of age.

-Keep your own thoughts under control and don't try to control others. You can give good advice, but learn to take it as well. We all can continue to learn as we get older. Once knowledge ceases, so do we. If you keep your thoughts in order then you won't have time to try to tend to other people's business and you'll be better off for it.

-Enjoy the life you have been handed and do the best that you can with it. Maybe your life didn't turn out like you expected. I can tell you up to this point mine hasn't either. Whatever the case, you have two choices: rebell against what life has given you and be miserable, or take it as it comes and give God praise for every minute. I believe I prefer the latter.

-Make sure that you know the truth before you open your mouth to speak. Older people get accused of gossip more than anybody else but teenagers. It's because so many people speak opinion as fact with no regard for the truth. Don't say something as fact when it isn't the truth. In fact, it's better to say nothing at all than to make statements that are hurtful to others without knowing the whole circumstance.

Happy Birthday Hayden!

4 years ago today we were sitting in the St. Francis Eastside hospital waiting for my first grandson to arrive. I love both of my granddaughters very much, but this was the boy to carry on our namesake. When Hayden Colt Stone was born it opened up a whole new dimension for us. He is my little man, the spitting image of his dad at that age, with a personality that just can't be beat. I'm so glad he is my grandson.

What many people don't realize was at the time his Dad, Mom, and sisters had sold their home, moved into a place that was originally made to house girls that were in trouble, and tried to revive a church that was going under due to all kinds of circumstances. Thankfully those days are behind them and God has blessed Hayden to grow up in a position of blessing rather than one of sacrifice. For that I am eternally grateful to God for both he, his sisters, and their future.

Every time I see Hayden I have hope that the world will
be a better place. I see his innocence and feel his love and know that the presence of God is real. He is not beaten down by the world or attacked by his peers. He just enjoys life and vents his frustrations on Angry Birds! (LOL!)

So to my grandson on his 4th birthday I say it again and again and again, "Happy Birthday!"

If I were An Avenger

My favorite superteam of all time is the Avengers. I remember the first time I ever saw their comic on the comic rack at a K-Mart in Miami, Florida. I sure wish I had bought that issue and saved it. Of course I was only in the 5th grade at that time. I also wish I had kept my Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle cards as well, but they sure did sound good at the time attached to my bicycle tire (LOL)!

After seeing The Avengers movie yesterday, I asked myself the question, what would I do if I were an Avenger?

-If I were an Avenger I would want the same ideals and dreams that America had back in the day. Life was less complicated and filled with adventure. It's funny how the older we get the less we like adventure, but adventure was what helped us grow. I never want to stop growing spiritually or mentally. I never want to loose my sense of adventure or dreams no matter how old I am.

-If I were an Avenger I would understand the value of a team effort. It's not the one man against the world philosophy that works any more.  Ask the dictators that have fallen in the past 15 years! It takes a team effort in this complicated society to be successful at anything. One man or woman can make a difference if they lead their team in the right direction, but no person is an island today.

-If I were an Avenger I would put my efforts into making a difference. You and I can still make a difference in our times if we really try, but it takes a sincere effort to do just that. Why? Because helping one person at a time doesn't seem so importnat, yet it really is. If you can help one person do right then hopefully they will pass that on to another. Soon there will be a great cloud of witnesses doing the same thing and it can literally change the world.

Guess what? If we do these things we all might be Avengers. Here's our rallying cry:

"Avengers Assemble!"

Good Advice For Anyone Under 25

-Learn to cherish your history and heritage. You may be able to multi-task, tweet, and text, but if you don't listen and learn from your history and heritage one day you may regret it. Don't make the mistakes your parents made, but learn where you came from and the things that worked before. Guess what-they still might work today!

-Respect yourself and others. If you don't respect yourself you will never learn to respect others. Respecting yourself means that you care about the impressions you leave on others and how others treat you. You are a reflection of who and what you are by your words, dress, and actions. Just don't use your age to mess it up.

-Develop a good work ethic. There is no such thing as a free ride in America today. Don't play the race card, the lack of effort card, or the world owes me something card. You become what you desire to be by working hard and being honestly. Don't lie to yourself and refuse to change. Expect better and strive for it.

-Accept the word commitment as a good word. If you set a goal don't quit until you reach it. Understand that if you are responsible enough to do adult things you must accept responsibility for them and hold up your end of the bargin. The word disposible is not to be used when speaking about marriage, children, or relationships.

Some good advice for members

-Treat your pastor well. You might not like everything about him, but find something good about him/her and focus on it. You will be glad you did in the long run.

-Be faithful to your church. Don't leave because of a disagreement with the pastor or a fellow member. Hang in there....it will get better.

-Love one another. God put us together in a fellowship as partners not rivals. It's a race, but not a competition against each other. Don't make it one!

Some Good Advice

To Pastors:
-Spend the time you should taking care of your church and stay out of other churches business in your area.

-When you leave a church for another then LEAVE that church. You are not married to it, it's not a part of your family, you are not the authority there now...so leave it alone. Give the new pastor a chance. If he grows it or tears it up-it's none of your business. Pray for him and pray for the church, but leave it alone.

-When disgruntled members from other churches come in love them, but don't listen to garbage about a brother in Christ. Remember that out of the same mouth that speaks good can also come condemnation.

-Recognize there are some people you can help and there some you can't. Don't loose your mind over the ones you can't. Help the ones you can and leave the rest up to the Lord.

He's in control of it anyway.