Religious Comebacks (Part 1)

1. I don't care WHO you are, quit walking on the water while I'm fishing!
2. A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. 
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
   
4. Why settle for the lesser of two evils?
   
5. Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
   
6. A diagnostic is someone who doesn't know whether there are two gods.
   
7. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
   
8. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
   
9. I am an agnostic pagan. I doubt the existence of many gods.
   
10. I'm convinced God put me here to accomplish a certain number of things; right now, I'm so far behind I'll never die!
    
11. God likes to see an atheist around. Gives Him something to aim at.
    
12. A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"