-You need one bathroom scale for each foot.
-You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.
-The restaurant check has been on the table for ten minutes and no one has touched it.
-Nothing you own is actually paid for.
-You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party for your new spouse.
-You receive a 150-page instruction booklet on how to save money from the electric company.
-Airline food starts to taste good.
-Your mother approves of the person you are dating.
-Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to chocolate chip cookies.
-You have to borrow from your VISA to pay off your MASTERCARD.
-You realize that you have memorized the back of your cereal box.
-Your cat abandons the nice box you prepared for her and has her kittens in your dresser drawer.
-Everyone loves your driver's license picture.
-Your kids start treating you the same way you treated your parents.
-Your aunt Maddie, who has two poodles and a chihuahua, tells you that her doctor just recommended plenty of rest in a warm, dry climate and you live in Arizona.
-The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.
-You look out the window of the airplane and the Goodyear Blimp is gaining on you.
-The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
People think you are 40 and you really are.
-You are pigging out at McDonald's by yourself and the manager orders the numbers on the sign outside changed.
-Everyone is laughing but you.
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