IT WAS SO COLD THAT . . . .
- We had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people got spoons and forks stuck to their tongues!
- Hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
- Roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
- When I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the Spring!
- The optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!
- Kids were using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pajamas haven't thawed out yet!"
- When kids go outside to play, they can only go as far as the extension cord will allow.
- We had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our parkas.
- Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans.
- Pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers pockets just to keep them warm!
- The squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence
- Grandpa's teeth were chattering - in the glass!
- The dogs were wearing cats instead of chasing them!
- The rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle!
- Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!
- The Statue of Liberty was seen sticking that torch under her robe.
- You need the wallpaper steamer to get undressed.
- Playboy magazine stopped publishing because no women would take their clothes off.
- The computer store was selling giant keyboards so people could type with mittens.
- "Hot pants" started selling again.... until people figured out they weren't really hot.
- Anyone with a body temperature near 104°F was in danger of being hauled out of their sickbed and used as a heater.
- Firefighters couldn't convince people to get out of their houses when they caught fire.
- We had to chop up the piano for firewood ... but we only got two chords.
- We didn't clean the house, we just defrosted it.
- The lights would only go on in the house when someone opened the door.
- I tried to take the garbage out, but it didn't want to go.
- I chipped a tooth on my soup, today!
- When the cows were milked, we got ice cream! Milking the brown cows gives us got chocolate ice cream!
- We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up.
- When I turned on the shower, I got hail.
- "Blanket suffocation" is now the number one cause of fatalities.
- Kids had to stay in school all week.... parents are now organizing a "teacher appreciation day."
- We had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people got spoons and forks stuck to their tongues!
- Hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
- Roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
- When I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the Spring!
- The optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!
- Kids were using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pajamas haven't thawed out yet!"
- When kids go outside to play, they can only go as far as the extension cord will allow.
- We had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our parkas.
- Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans.
- Pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers pockets just to keep them warm!
- The squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence
- Grandpa's teeth were chattering - in the glass!
- The dogs were wearing cats instead of chasing them!
- The rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle!
- Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!
- The Statue of Liberty was seen sticking that torch under her robe.
- You need the wallpaper steamer to get undressed.
- Playboy magazine stopped publishing because no women would take their clothes off.
- The computer store was selling giant keyboards so people could type with mittens.
- "Hot pants" started selling again.... until people figured out they weren't really hot.
- Anyone with a body temperature near 104°F was in danger of being hauled out of their sickbed and used as a heater.
- Firefighters couldn't convince people to get out of their houses when they caught fire.
- We had to chop up the piano for firewood ... but we only got two chords.
- We didn't clean the house, we just defrosted it.
- The lights would only go on in the house when someone opened the door.
- I tried to take the garbage out, but it didn't want to go.
- I chipped a tooth on my soup, today!
- When the cows were milked, we got ice cream! Milking the brown cows gives us got chocolate ice cream!
- We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up.
- When I turned on the shower, I got hail.
- "Blanket suffocation" is now the number one cause of fatalities.
- Kids had to stay in school all week.... parents are now organizing a "teacher appreciation day."
No comments:
Post a Comment