MATURITY IS UNDER ATTACK!

Have you ever noticed that as you get older, everything seems uphill from where you are?? Stairs are steeper, Groceries are heavier, and everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become. 

People are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time, and if you ask them to speak up, they just repeat themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face and exhausted. What do they think I am, a lip reader?

Goodness sakes, they are so much younger than they used to be when I was their age! On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an one of my former church members the other day, and he has aged so much that he didn't even recognize me. I got to thinking about that while I was combing my hair this morning, and I glanced at my own reflection in the mirror and thought to myself, "They don't even make mirrors like they used to!"

And everyone drives so fast today you're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the highway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rearview mirror.

Even clothing manufacturers are becoming less civilized these days. A lady exercising at the gym the other day wondered why they suddenly started labeling a size 6 dress as a 12? She said, "Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and other parts? And too, the fabric in dresses and slacks is so skimpy these days, especially around the hips and waist, that it's almost impossible to reach my shoelaces! The sizes just don't run the way they used to." She also told the lady she was walking with, "The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually believe the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much!" 
You know I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on, but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too. They've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there. All I can do is pass along this warning:

MATURITY IS UNDER ATTACK!