It's one day after Christmas , I'm crabby and I'm broke.
I'm so full of ham and tater salad, I think I'm going to croak.
It's nice to see the relatives I wonder when they'll leave.
They've been camping in my bathroom since early Christmas Eve.
They're eating everything in sight and sleeping in my bed.
I been sacked out in the basement with my beagle, Fred.
The relatives have all gone out and left their screaming brats.
The toilet bowl is all plugged up and I can't find the cat.
I love the decorations, and the sleigh bells in the snow
But I wish those pesky relatives would take their kids and go.
Those cookie crunchers fed the dog a twenty pound rib roast.
His feet are sticking in the air like skinny old fence posts.
Now they're in a free-for-all, the girls against the boys.
They're fighting over boxes 'cause they're bored with all their toys
My mother-in-law is snoring in my favorite TV chair.
Those kids are stringing lights on her and tinseling her hair
I ought to wake her up before the fireworks begin.
But I want to see those blue sparks fly when they plug her in.
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