What to do when your heart is heavy

Do you feel stuck in a pattern that isn't quite working for you at the moment? Maybe you've been pegged by loved ones or co-workers in a way that doesn't feel fair or true (you've been blamed or labeled). Perhaps you've had a conflict with someone and your heart hurts so much you can't get a deep breath. You may have suffered a loss that makes you sadder than you would have expected. Whatever it is, it has flattened you and put you on the sidelines for the time being. If we were to be honest with one another, we could all tell of the many times we have felt like this in our lives.

Within the last 16 months I had suffered two bad heart episodes, had several good church members called home to be with Jesus, and faced numerous projects and repairs on our church property that I did not have the means to handle. It got to a point after the last heart attack 13 weeks ago that I was so depressed I could barely hold my head up. I had never faced anything like this before in my life. I had always been able to bounce back, but my mortality was beginning to show. I wasn't Superman anymore and I begin to realize that in spite of my best efforts, because of after effects from the accident that affected my body, things might never change. The things that made me feel better I did not have the energy to do, nor did I want to do. I still did my job and tried to do my best, but I was exhausted, angry with myself for feeling this way, and trying to figure out what to do.

I tried everything to break this spirit that seemed to loom over me like a rain cloud, but no matter what I tried nothing seemed to break it apart. We sometimes get into holding patterns that create pain, fear or anger, but most of us also have ways of working through tough, hardened states of mind so we can get un-paralyzed and get back to whatever is normal and healthy in our lives, but I was at my wits end. 

It was in my greatest trial that God spoke this word into my spirit just two weeks ago.

It was the key I needed to break the chains that had caused so much heaviness in my heart.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." (Psalms 23:4)

Walking and praying for me has always been the key to loosening up my spirit and helping me deal with my situations in life. I rediscovered during this recent time that there was a paradox to this course of action. Doing what I know is good for me is was an act of will that took a firm decision and an internal alarm that woke me up at 5 a.m. to hit the gym. Walking regularly helped me deal with the depression and stress my physical condition had put me in, but it was the power of prayer that broke the back of the enemy who had me so mentally stressed out about living or dying. 

For several weeks my walking time and my prayer life had been affected by this state of depression, but the key that unlocked the door was the realization anew and afresh that even when I don't feel him He is there. It's in the valley He restores my soul, not on the mountain top. Once I took this key I was able to unlock those heavy chains placed around my heart. Walking 4 miles a day, praying more than ever, and feeling better than I have in weeks.

The "key" to your well-being may not be walking and praying;  instead, it could well be escaping into a good book or cranking up the volume of your music and dancing behind closed doors, but whatever it is, you know that when you do it, your heavy state of mind will begin to lift and whatever you're wrestling with will start to untangle itself and loosen its tendrils ever-so-slightly. You also know what I mean when I say it takes an act of will and faith to engage in the activity that will give you relief. Energy you don't exactly have in the dark, heavy moments is exactly what is required to produce relief.

So if your heavy hearted today, I've been there recently. Yet in that time there was a comforting Savoir that brought me through. Remember, He will do the same for you.