7 things I've learned in the last 5 years

Seven Things I've Learned in the Last 5 Years

Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be.  But it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities for growth and happiness.

Over the past five years Becky and I have dealt with several hardships, including loss of monthly income, great church members to illness, betrayal from people we loved and served, and several unexplained situations.  These experiences have been brutal.  Each of them, naturally, knocked us down and off course for a period of time.  

Yet in each individual circumstance, we pressed forward, stronger, and with a stronger understanding and desire for life.

Here are some lessons we’ve learned along the way:

1. You are not what happened to you in the past. – No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. You are not your past habits. You are not your past failures. You are not how others have at one time treated you. You are only who you think you are right now in this moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment.
2. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t. You are who you are and you have what you have, right now.  And it can’t be that bad, because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this.  The important thing is simply to find one POSITIVE thought that inspires and helps you move forward.  Hold on to it strongly, and focus on it.  You may feel like you don’t have much, or anything at all, but you have your mind to inspire you.  And that’s really all you need to start moving forward again.  
3. Struggling with problems is a natural part of living. Part of living and growing up is experiencing unexpected troubles in life.  People lose jobs, get sick, and sometimes die unexplained.  When you are younger, and things are going pretty well, this harsh reality can be hard to visualize.  The smartest, and oftentimes hardest, thing we can do in these kinds of situations is to be tempered in our reactions.  You may want to scream obscenities, but be wiser and more disciplined than that.  Holding on to your emotional rage only makes matters worse. Remember that setbacks are rarely as bad as they seem, and even when they are, they give us an opportunity to grow stronger, wiser, and greater in The Lord.
4. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either. Cry if you need to because it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.  And a smile doesn’t always mean a person is happy.  Sometimes it simply means they are strong enough to face their problems.
5. Life is fragile, sudden, and shorter than it often seems. There may not be a tomorrow for everyone.  Right now, someone on Earth is planning something for tomorrow without realizing they’re going to die today.  This is sad but true.  So spend your time wisely today and pause long enough to appreciate it.  Every moment you get is a gift.  Don’t waste time by dwelling on unhappy things.  Spend it on things that move you in the direction you want to go.
6. You will fail sometimes. The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  So get out there and try!  Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson.  Win – Win.
7. You have the capacity to create your own happiness. Feelings change, people change, and time keeps rolling.  You can hold onto past mistakes or you can creat your own happiness.  A smile is a choice, not a miracle.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy.  True happiness comes from within.