Surviving Bad Attitudes-Chapter 6-The Gossiper

Ava, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Charlie, a new member of the church, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old Harley parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told Charlie and several others that every one seeing it there would "know what he was doing !"

Charlie, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and didn't explain, defend, or deny anything. He said absolutely nothing and just turned and walked away.  

However, later that evening, Charlie quietly parked his Harley in front of Ava's house, walked home, and left it there all night.

Let that one sink in will you!

Every church has a gossip. Maybe one or two, sometimes even more. What does the Bible say about gossip and those who partake?

Exodus 20:16 "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor."

Leviticus 19:16 "Do not go about spreading slander among your people."

Psalm 34:13 "Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies."

Psalm 101:5 "Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, him will I not endure."

Proverbs 11:9 "With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape."

Proverbs 11:13 "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret."

Proverbs 17:9 "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends."

Proverbs 18:8 "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts."

Proverbs 20:19 "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much."

Proverbs 26:20, 21 "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife."

Matthew 12:36 "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken."

Ephesians 4:25 "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body."

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

Ephesians 4:31 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice."

1 Peter 3:10;16 "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech...keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander."

James 3:5, 6 "The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."

James 4:11 "Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it."

My dad received a call one time from a member of his church who was known for stretching the truth. She called and told him she didn't want to be a gossip (that's what they all say) but that one of the men of the church had died and his wife was upset that my dad hadn't called to find out what was going on. It puzzled my dad because he had just talked with a family member a few hours before and nothing was said about her dad dying. I still laugh when I think about my dad telling the story. He would say, "I quickly dialed the man's phone number, and the dead man answered the phone!" Well, he hadn't died, but Sister Gossip had spread it all through the church. If it had been my brother or I we would have probably have had the man lay in a coffin and rise up out of it during his "memorial" service. Man, that would had set the tongues wagging in the town.

Did she learn her lesson. Absolutely not, she tried to blame somebody else for what had taken place.

The wise man in the scriptures above made these statements about those that gossip:

-They destroy their neighbor.

-They are not accepted by God.

-They cause division.

-They create confusion.

-They speak lies.

I believe the worst attitude to deal with is that of the gossiper. They know they are doing wrong but seek to justify it and do not change their behavior.

So how do you survive a gossiper? (continued tomorrow)