Toxic People (Part 1)

Toxic People (Part 1)

Romans 14:16, 17

Toxic people slowly suck the life out of others. Subsequently, staying joyful and reaching your goals often means putting an end to the subtle ways they shut you down. 

-Toxic people uses phrases like "You're too sensitive" or "It didn't happen that way" to make you doubt yourself and question what you deserve.

-Toxic people give huge responses to appear smarter or more skilled than you, but what they say might lack relevancy or bounce around from point to point.

-Toxic people always say what is perfectly acceptable in terms of words or phrasing, but how they say those words and phrases communicates something hurtful.

-Toxic people always rain on your parade, pointing out the "yeah, but" considerations or responding with "Are you sure..." every time you try to be positive or talk about the good happening to you,

-Toxic people constantly come up with something negative to say about what you love or do so that, eventually, you feel ashamed of what makes you be you.

-Toxic people make blanket statements that defy rationalization, typically in an accusatory or judgmental way. They treat "never" and "always" as some of their favorite words rather than take the time to get facts and acknowledge all the subtleties that can make an argument more complex.

-Toxic people try to turn the focus to what you did, or they try to get you to focus on a different "real" issue rather than take responsibility or face difficult conversations.

-Toxic people continuously require you to meet new, often unanticipated and unrelated expectations so that you never know if you've made progress or are good enough.

-Toxic people push against limits you've set, just to see what your reaction will be. Then they get you to forgive them with gifts, promises or other sweet talk. Once they've pulled you back to them, they push again to extend the new boundary even further, slowly taking away your self-respect and control.

-Toxic people offer to handle certain tasks or jobs for you so as to "relieve your stress". Then they keep information about those tasks or jobs from you so you're no longer able to approach them independently, or they make jabs about your competence, saying you "need" them to do the work for you.

If someone is contaminating your life with these types of behaviors, don't stand for the abuse. The stress quite literally will hurt your brain and health. Using "I feel" statements, pressing for facts, rewarding yourself, saying "no", following through with warned consequences, focusing on solutions and simply walking away are all valid ways to show a toxic person you mean business.