Allen Wheelis wrote a book entitled "How People Change". In it he writes about childhood events that continued to affect him well into his sixties. One chapter concerns an episode when he was eight years old, and his father made him spend his summer vacation cutting their yard with a straight razor rather than playing with his friends. He writes of his father and I quote:
"He made his mark on me that summer, and after his death that fall continued to speak on a high-fidelity system within my conscience, speaks to me still, tells me that I have been summoned, that I am standing once again before him on that glass porch giving an account of myself, that I will be found wanting, still after all these years a 'low-down, no-account scoundrel'!"
He is not alone in continuing to react in ways that appear to have developed in childhood or the past. Given all the factors that perpetuate the effects of your early life experiences, perhaps you wonder how people manage to change at all. Wheelis suggests that by pulling your experiences close and examining them, you can recognize in your current reactions the signature of your past, and that recognition allows you a greater choice in how you respond.
So, a willingness to address the past doesn't mean refusing to take responsibility, wallowing in your misery, blaming your parents, or feeling sorry for yourself. In fact, quite the opposite is true. When you understand that your past is past is about recognizing and taking responsibility for longstanding patterns that may trace back to our childhood, but by God's grace you're determined to change them. To deny the influence of our past means we never learn from it, but to let it dominate us is a curse that can be broken.
You may have grown up in the perfect household without any childhood trauma. Praise God for that! You don't have to have been abused or neglected to have been shaped by early life experiences. Each of you has a history that has written itself on your body and brains, and that you will carry forward into the rest of your life. Each individual has a particular way of dealing with strong emotions, handling conflict, or dealing with guilt or shame. Each of us has been wounded in our profession, by somebody we loved, or by situations that adversely affected us.
It's painful to revisit the difficult parts of your past and to recognize their lingering effects. Some people may choose to let the past be the past and keep it buried, which each of us is free to do. Sometimes Paul reminded himself that he was at one time "the chief of sinners" and was haunted by the fact that he had persecuted the early church before his conversion.
Friend, God has a purpose for your life, and it's not in the past!
-It does not matter what your past has been.
-It doesn’t matter how big your sins are.
-It doesn’t matter what bad choices you made.
-It doesn’t matter what your parents were like.
a. God wants to bless you.
Matthew 6:33 “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well.”
b. God wants to use you.
Ephesians 2:10 NKJV “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”
c. God wants to give you a crown of life.
James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.”
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