Breaking The Bonds of Depression (Part 3)

Breaking The Bonds of Depression (Part 3)

Psalm 65:5 "You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness, O God our Savior, the hope of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest seas." 

When people are depressed or heartbroken, the classic clichés never help.

“Time heals wounds.”

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You just need some fresh air.”

“It’s time to move on”

It’s easy for people to say “positive” things like that with the best of intentions, but when you’re suffering from depression or severe heartbreak these kinds of clichéd phrases often come across the wrong way. To you they seem thoughtless, empty, and essentially worthless.

In most cases clichés like these don’t address reality and only agitate the anxiety within, making a depressed or heartbroken person wish they were alone.  It’s like trying to strap a two-inch Band-Aid on a foot-long, gaping wound.

So, if given the chance, what can you say instead?  Again, there’s no “one size fits all” answer.  Just do you best to be sincere and supportive.

While depression disconnects us from our human emotions, and therefore must be carefully addressed, heartbreak by itself can actually help us move through our emotions.  Heartbreak is never a pleasant experience, but it can be a healthy one when it’s internalized in a healthy way.  In fact, as human beings we sometimes get used to the weight of our heartbreak and how it holds us in place.  A heartbreak doesn’t just break you down and disappear.  Step-by-step, breath-by-breath, it becomes a part of you, but it can become a healthy part of you as well.

When it comes to the heartbreak of loss, you may never completely stop grieving, simply because you never stop loving the ones you’ve lost. However, you can effectively leverage your love for them in the present.  You can love them and emulate them by living with their magnificence as your daily inspiration.  By doing this, they live on in the warmth of your broken heart that won’t fully heal back up, and you will continue to grow and experience life, even with your wounds.  It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway with a slight limp, and this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character.

Truth be told, the wisest, most loving and well-rounded people you have ever met are likely those who have been shattered by heartbreak.  Yes, life creates the greatest humans by breaking them first.  Their destruction into pieces allows them to be fine-tuned and reconstructed into a masterpiece.  Truly, it’s the painstaking journey of falling apart and coming back together that fills their hearts and minds with a level of compassion, understanding, and deep loving wisdom that can’t possibly be acquired any other way.