Choices (Part 1)

We all make choices every day. Some are good, and some are not so good. You can surrender your destiny to the desires of others, or you can make your own. The point is that we can make choices that help us to move forward through adversity, or we may make choices that assist others to move beyond or through some of life's issues.

Choices are within everyone's command. No one has to do, or is obligated to live their lives as others live. On the other hand, inevitably at some point in our lives, we witness, first-hand, choices that other people, friends, family members or colleagues make that we can clearly see are leading them down a slippery slope to either immediate devastating consequences, or a future that can be potentially harmful. But, here's the point about other people's choices. You cannot make another person choose a different option or path nor can you change them. Each person is responsible for their own behaviors and actions. And, as much as we would like to change them it is only possible if they want to change.

As caring people, we probably have all made efforts to try and assist other individuals to change or alter a choice so they won't experience what we feel will be negative reactions, rejection, or, worse still, criminal prosecutions. While there is nothing inherently wrong or misguided about our good intentions, the ultimate choice people make is entirely up to them. We can't live other people's lives for them; we don't want to put ourselves in any position that appears or demonstrates that we own their problems or own their choices. These people own their own lives; they make the choices, good or bad.

One important thing I learned as a pastor is that people often try and get you to own their problem; that is, they want you to manage their life and be the one to blame if attempted changes don't work out. However, the ultimate responsibility and accountability for any attitude, behavior or belief rests firmly with the person. Excuses do not make up for failures. The person committing the action or demonstrating the behavior is the one who must bear the brunt of those actions and no one else.