Today's Media

If today's media got a hold of these Biblical stories . . .
-On Red Sea crossing:
     WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
             Pursuing Environmentalists Killed

-On David vs. Goliath:
     HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
            Psychologist Questions     Influence of Rock

-On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:
     FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
              400 Killed

-On the birth of Christ:
     HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
              Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple

-On feeding the 5,000:
     PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH
              Disciples Mystified Over Behavior

-On healing the 10 lepers:
     LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED
              "Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy

-On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:
     MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
              Local Farmer's Investment Lost

-On raising Lazarus from the dead:
     FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
              Will Reading to be Delayed