Welcome to the blog of Pastor Alton Stone, from Simpsonville, SC. Pastor Stone is a retired Ordained Bishop of The Church of God, Cleveland, Tennessee with over 45 years of pastoral ministry.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Marriage Proverbs

The institution of marriage in our nation has been downgraded, attacked, and forsaken by many. Yet the joining of one man and one woman is still sacred in the sight of God. I have conducted many ceremonies in the past 44 years and have heard so many things said in jest by a groomsman or parent. I call these the Marriage Proverbs. A marriage is still holy in the sight of God, but some of the things said in jest may just be true.

Here are a few of those Marriage Proverbs:

-Marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning.

-If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

-Marriage is worth at least a grand, but divorce is even more costly.

-Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

-When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

-Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

-Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

-Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and is a good cook, but the law allows only one wife.

-Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.

-Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.

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