I have listened to doctors over the years share the news with family members about a loved one who has just come through surgery. I also have had my share of those these last few years and even remember telling the doctor not to start the surgery until I went to sleep only to wake up in the recovery room. I can barely remember hearing the doctor and his assistants talking in the operating room, but in saying that I am glad I did not hear some of these things while I was lying on the operating table. These are things you're glad you didn't hear during surgery.
-Wait a minute, if that's his spleen, then what's this?
-Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie.
-Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
-Could you stop that thing from beating? It's bothering my concentration.
-What's this doing here?
-I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
-Somebody call the janitor -- we're going to need a mop.
-I sure wish I had my glasses.
-Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.
-Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
-Sterile, shmerile. The floor's clean enough.
-What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?!
-Anyone see where I left my scalpel?
-Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
-What do you mean you want a divorce?!
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