MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
MARRIAGE DECISIONS: Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed.
MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
CHILDREN: A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
STYLE: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
MONEY MANAGEMENT: A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want.
THE BATTLE: A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
MEMORIES: A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her. A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry.
MISTAKES: Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN: There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
WHAT A WOMAN WANTS: Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy... One is to let her think she is having her own way. The other is to let her have it.
LONGEVITY: Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
HAPPINESS: To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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