When Things Go Wrong

Romans 7
¹⁹ For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
²⁰ Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
²¹ I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
²² For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
²³ But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
²⁴ O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
²⁵ I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

When things go wrong, we often begin by asking ourselves the wrong questions like “Why is this happening to me?” Our first reaction is often negative, bringing to mind incorrect questions. But if in each moment of decision we can instead discipline our thoughts to look behind those initial questions and ask better ones the questions themselves will lead us to better results because in a sense the answers are in the questions.

When a problem arises, we start looking for some control of the situation. The problem is, we quite naturally begin by looking at those around us and ask the wrong types of questions like “why?” and “who?” The wrong questions take away any control of the situation we might otherwise gain. 

We should ask self-revealing questions first like:

-What does it say about me that I have this problem?

-What can I learn from this?

-How can I make this situation useful to me?

We find ourselves on shaky ground if we attempt to fix a problem without first understanding what it means to overcoming whatever has caused it in the beginning. By looking for inherent meaning, you open a rich treasure chest of valuable jewels that lead to new information, insight, and opportunities.”

The right questions contain an “I” and not “you,” “they,” and “them.” “I” questions lead to action. Questions that contain an “I” turn our focus away from other people and circumstances and put it back on ourselves, where it can do the most good. We can’t change other people. We can’t control circumstances and events. The only things we have any real control over are our own thoughts and actions. Asking questions that focus our efforts and energy on what we can do makes us significantly more effective, not to mention happier and less frustrated.