Dealing with angry and difficult people

Later in David's life, the Amalekites had attacked the village of Ziklag, carrying off the wives and children of David's army. Scripture says David and his men wept until they had no strength left. Understandably the men were angry, but instead of being mad at the Amalekites, they blamed David:

"David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters." (1 Samuel 30:6)

Often people take their anger out on us. Sometimes we deserve it, in which case an apology is needed, but usually the difficult person is frustrated in general and we are the handiest target. Striking back is not the solution, but turning to God is.

"But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God." (1 Samuel 30:6)

Turning to God when we're attacked by an angry person gives us understanding, patience, and most of all courage. Some suggest taking a deep breath or counting to ten, but the real answer is saying a quick prayer. David asked God what to do, was told to pursue the kidnappers, and he and his men rescued their families.

Dealing with angry people tests our witness. People are watching. We can lose our temper as well, or we can respond calmly and with love. David succeeded because he turned to the One stronger and wiser than himself. We can learn from his example.

The most difficult person each of us has to deal with is our self. If we are honest enough to admit it, we cause ourselves more trouble than others do.

David was no different. He committed adultery with Bathsheba, then had her husband Uriah killed. When confronted with his crimes by Nathan the prophet, David admitted:

"I have sinned against the Lord." (2 Samuel 12:13)

At times we need the help of a pastor or godly friend to help us see our situation clearly. In other cases, when we humbly ask God to show us the reason for our misery, he gently directs us to look in the mirror.

Then we need to do what David did: confess our sin to God and repent, knowing he always forgives and takes us back.

David had many faults, but he was the only person in the Bible God called "a man after my own heart." (Acts 13:22) Why? Because David depended completely on God to direct his life, including dealing with difficult people.

We can't control difficult people and we can't angry people, but with God's guidance we can understand them better and find a way to cope with them.