Enjoying Your Wife and Loving Your Husband (Part 2)

Husband, if you want what's best for yourself, your family, and your Savior, you must learn throughout your marriage to enjoy your wife.

Everyone agrees with this in general. But the question is often asked, “How do I implement change in my marriage? How do i move from unhappiness with my companion to the joy God wants us to have in our relationship?”

-Husbands must admit the possibility that you could enjoy your wife again! Nothing hinders change more than despair and the sloth it produces. If there is no hope, why bother trying? The short answer is there is always hope. As unlikely as it sounds, it is possible to enjoy your wife whether you've been married 1 year or 50 years. 

Why? Because marriage was created before the Fall. This means it is not a Divine punishment! It is a gift of God's love and for our good. God said, "It is not good that man should be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him". The wife was designed for her husband's happiness. Hence, it is possible to enjoy your wife for however much time gives her to you. I needn't labor this point because you know its true. I never met a man who didn't at one time or other enjoy being with his wife. If you did it twenty years ago, and your relationship seems to be stagnant or in trouble, with God's help maybe you can do it again.

So husband, admit the possibility. If you can't find it in yourself to enjoy your wife because of situations beyond your control, then remember, "With God, all things are possible".

-Repent of not enjoying your wife. This begins with the knowledge of your sin (NOT HERS!). When gripped by this knowledge, you must go on to confess it to God. Honestly, fully, and humbly. Pray for the desire to change; and, finally, change by "putting off the old man and putting on the new".

How do you change?
-Think of her good points. Yes, she still has some!
Philippians 4:8 “Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious--the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”

If you look hard enough, you'll find something to admire and to praise in your wife.

-Don't dwell on her faults
I Peter 4:8 “Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything.”

Remember, you will be judged by the same standard that you judge her.

Matthew 7:1-2 “Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, and criticize their faults-unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.”

Remember, you will not change her for the better by being indifferent or disgusted all the time. If you want her to be better than she is, you must accept her the way she is now. Even salvation-in-Christ starts "Just as I am".