Shame affects us all.
-It motivates the perfectionist.
-Fuels the aggressor.
-Entombs the alienated in emotional isolation.
People try many ways to escape shame, but shame-based thinking and responses are like a bandage covering a festering, infected sore. The bandage has no healing power and, if the wound is not treated, gangrene will eventually spread its toxic poison throughout the entire system.
The power of shame is manifested in five areas in our lives:
-The levels of shame that surround us are multilayered. The first level of shame with which you must deal with is inherited shame and how to overcome it.
Inherited shame results from the basic sin nature which we all receive at birth due to the original transgression of man in the Garden of Eden. Satan will tell you:
-You will never feel good enough to approach God in prayer.
-You will never be able to put the past behind you and as long as you live in the past you will never have a future.
-You will never rise up to fulfill your destiny in God.
-Secondly, individual shame results from sins you personally commit.
The Bible itemizes specific shame-generators including pride (Proverbs 11:2), refusing correction (Proverbs 13:18), lack of discipline (Proverbs 19:26), hasty, uninformed decisions (Proverbs 18:13), forsaking God (Jeremiah 17:13), and iniquity (Ezekiel 43:10; Proverbs 13:5)--the latter of which is inclusive of all sinful acts. The guilt and condemnation generated by such sins result in shame if there is no resolution through confession and repentance. Shame alienates you from God, others, and self. Individual shame is the most difficult type of shame to deal with, for it is hard to forgive yourself for sins, mistakes, and bad decisions.
-Incessant shame refers to the continuous cycle of shame manifested from generation to generation. If you do not deal with shame successfully, then you pass it on to your children and they duplicate it by passing it on to the next generation.
Psychologists have come to realize that shame-based parents act shamelessly and pass their shame on to their children because "there is no way to teach self-value if one does not value oneself."
If you do not deal with your shame, you pass it on to your children and they will pass it to their children. Shame then becomes multi-generational, meaning it is firmly entrenched within the family and passed from one generation to the next.
Shame results in a lack of intimacy in marriage because it is difficult to maintain close relationships when you feel defective and flawed.
-Imposed shame is inflicted upon you by others who put you down and tell you that you are stupid or not good enough. It also results from things like abuse, incest, molestation, and rape. You are innocent, but you feel ashamed because of what others have said about or done to you.
Unresolved inherited, individual, and incessant shame are the foundations of imposed shame which is a shame inflicted upon you by others who put you down, tell you that you are stupid, or say you are not good enough. Imposed shame says, "You have let us down. You are a bad person."
People imposed shame on Jesus, for the Bible says He was "despised and rejected by men" in Isaiah 53:3.
The seeds of imposed shame are planted in childhood through circumstances that reinforce feelings of worthlessness. These experiences may include religion, identification with shame-based models of shame, shameful accusations, abandonment, and abuse.
People imposed shame on Jesus, for the Bible says He was "despised and rejected by men" in Isaiah 53:3.
The seeds of imposed shame are planted in childhood through circumstances that reinforce feelings of worthlessness. These experiences may include religion, identification with shame-based models of shame, shameful accusations, abandonment, and abuse.
-Institutional shame comes through the institutions of society.
Institutional shame is a type of shame that is based on concepts of what is considered right and wrong, acceptable or unacceptable by others. It results when we are rejected by the group or when our group is rejected by another or our culture at large. You may be shamed because of the color of your skin, your family background, or the city or nation in which you live. Institutional shame belittles you because of your personal background, your family, where you live, or the way you dress.
God wants you to learn how to shatter these shackles in your life and the lives of those to whom you minister. I hope to share these hopeful words over the next few days.
No comments:
Post a Comment