The Imperfect Church (Part 3)

Many people have been deeply hurt by pastors or leaders of our churches for one reason or another. If they were sinful and had to be dealt with spiritually, they blame the pastor or the church for their wrongdoing. On the other hand some have been taken advantage of by wolves in sheep's clothing. We all trust in our spiritual leaders, but some use their position to do some awful things. The result could be the displacement of families, the splitting of a church, or a wound that is carried for years to come. Some will eventually come to trust Jesus again, but trusting the Church would prove to be a far bigger challenge.

If you’ve ever found yourself betrayed, let down, or hurt by religious people or leaders, you’ve probably experienced your own fair share of what I sometimes refer to as "PTCD" or “Post Traumatic Church Disorder.” I experienced this even as a pastor who trusted in people that I loved who turned on me and made me skittish and unsure if I could trust anyone else again.

Some in the church today are like me. They struggle to really trust people simply because of what they've been through. Some of them know the Bible front and back, but can hardly bring themselves to crack it open on the other side of the shame-based tactics they were subjected to in the past. Some literally break into hives just thinking about sitting in pews or walking into a church building. The wounds are real and the healing is slow.

So if you’ve ever found yourself struggling with church I want you to know you’re not alone, but let me give you some sound advise:

-It can be hard to resist becoming critical when so much of the modern church is worthy of critique. There is certainly no shortage of things that need changing. However, criticism is too easy. It demands very little of us and contributes nothing. What is not easy, however, is actually being active and contributing to the changes in the church that we long to see. While this may seem overwhelming right now, it is an essential part of your healing process.

If you bear the scars of a church gone wrong, then let’s just acknowledge together that beginning to trust a church again is going to take a while. In fact, it might take a very long while and that’s OK. The sad truth is not all churches or their leaders are worthy of your trust. We have far too many modern examples to illustrate this point. So the instinct to protect yourself is going to be strong. Don’t feel guilty for guarding your heart. Trust cannot be rushed, nor should it be. God will help you in every situation if you will let Him.

-Those of us with PTCD must eventually level with the fact that Jesus loves His Church even with all her imperfections. He chose her, died for her, commissioned her, empowered her, continues to move in and through her, and He will be coming back for her. So we don’t need to abandon her regardless.  Discipleship will never lead us to divorce ourselves from Jesus’ gathered people. This is a truth that all of us with PTCD must eventually wrestle with.

Remember the local church is Jesus’ community of redeemed sinners who sometimes forget that without grace they are nothing. It reflects the incredible truth that those of us who are in Christ must acknowledge the fact that our own imperfections and bouts with sin continue on the other side of the Cross. It reflects the truth that people will fail you again in the future and so will those in whatever fellowship you choose to be a part of. At times you will fail them and they will fail you.

So here's the challenge for you-what you will do when the church or people inevitably let you down? Will you withhold grace or humbly extend it? Choosing to extend grace is enormously difficult and it is a choice you will have to continually come back to, but in the end, it is the only way to really heal. As long as there are imperfect people, there will be an imperfect church, but you can and will overcome in Jesus' name. It's all up to you to decide.