Memories (Part 2)

It’s important to be friendly, but don’t get carried away and spread yourself too thin.  Leave plenty of time for those who matter most to you.  Your time is extremely limited, and sooner or later you just want to be around the people who make you smile for all the right reasons.

Truly, we all long for genuine relationships, but these relationships can be hard to find and nurture, even in our overly connected lives.  We meet people in person and socialize online, but these connections often lack a necessary dose of intimacy.  We work alongside others in crowded office buildings, but our communication with them is usually work-oriented and not relationship-oriented.  We may be lucky enough to have close friends and family in our lives, but when we are distracted by social media and busy with work, those relationships take a major hit.

The healthiest and most genuine relationships are comprised of two people who are intimately familiar with each other’s evolving stories.  These people make plenty of emotional room for their relationship, which means they sincerely listen to each other, they remember the major events each other have been through, and they keep up-to-date as the facts and feelings of each other’s reality evolves and changes.

The key thing to remember is that nothing you can give is more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention or your full presence.  Truly being with someone,and listening without a clock and without anticipation of the next event, is the ultimate compliment.  It is indeed the most valued gesture you can make to them, and it arms you with the information you need to truly know them and support them in the long run.

It’s also important to note that if two people care about each other and want to maintain a healthy relationship, they absolutely need to be “allowed” to openly communicate all of their feelings to each other not just the agreeable and positive ones.  If this is not “allowed” or supported by one or both people involved in the relationship lies and deceit will gradually replace love and trust, which ultimately leads to a complete emotional disconnection.

With all the aforementioned said, one of the easiest ways to find more meaningful moments of presence with the people who matter to you, is to work together on something.  If you have someone in mind whom you’d like to strengthen your relationship with, find a way to work hand in hand on a project that intrigues both of you.  You could plant a communal garden together, or meet once a week to jointly work on an ongoing passion project—such as painting a mural, stitching quilts, or maybe even running a side business.  Also, attending a life-enhancing conference together (live or virtual), and then mindfully examining and discussing it, is another related opportunity for working hand in hand on something meaningful.