Wounded (Part 1)

Why does rejection wound us so deeply? Because it attacks the very person that we are. It destroys our self-esteem, and attacks who we are and our purpose in life. This is why it is one of the most common tools the devil will use to destroy a person's life. God never wanted us to feel rejected or abandon. He desires for you to know who you really are, and realize how deeply He loves, accepts, and appreciates you, so that you can live out the fullness of what God has ordained you to be. God's Word tells us that without being rooted and grounded in the love and acceptance of God, we cannot experience the fullness of God in our lives:

Ephesians 3:19 "And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God."

Rejection has a way of destroying a person's life in a way that few other things can. The sad fact is that the number of people who are affected by rejection is staggering. If we want to be all that God has created us to be, then overcoming rejection and it's affects is vital and absolutely essential.

Many people who have faced rejection and abuse as a child, grow up with unresolved emotional wounds. Rejection causes emotional wounds, which if not cleansed and released, will grow and fester into spiritual wounds, such as a lack of forgiveness, envy, blaming God, jealousy, and hatred. Those spiritual wounds open us up to evil spirits which love to take advantage of this opportunity to invade us. The goal of the enemy is to get us built up with emotional baggage inside and negative feelings in our hearts against one another, ourselves, and God.

Rejection has a lot of fruit which can widely vary from one person to another. Some of the common symptoms of rejection include:

-Rebellion in both children and adults.

-Fabricated personalities or being somebody you aren't in order to be accepted.

-The tendency to reject others, so that you aren't the first one to be rejected.

-A tendency to always wonder if a person rejects or accepts you.

-The need to fit in or be accepted by others and be a part of everything.

-Self-pity where a person feels bad for themselves being all alone.

- The inability to be corrected or receive constructive criticism.

-Creating an environment where you are starved for love or just don't fit in.

-A tendency to blame God.

-A sense of pride that says, "How dare they reject me!"

-Opinionated personality and the need to be right about things.

-Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, or hopelessness.

-Seeking a parent's approval is a sign that your basing your identity upon what they think of you.

-Envy, jealousy, and even hate can be rooted in rejection.

-Fear of confrontation because your identity is based upon what they think of you.

A person who has a hard time admitting they are wrong, or receiving constructive criticism has an underlying problem with rejection. How do we know that? Because they are basing their identity, who they are, upon their ability to be right about everything. Stubbornness can also be rooted in rejection as well for this same reason. They have to be right, or else they feel worthless; that's because "who they are" is based upon them being right. This also ties in with opinionated personalities, who are always there to tell you all about something, even if they have little or no real understanding to speak from.

Then we have performance orientation and drivenness, and certain variances of OCD where a person is basing their identity and who they are upon how well they perform at something in life. Whenever we base who we are upon our performance, or our being correct about something, then we fail, it is a blow to our identity.

Those who struggle with rejection can also become what we call fixers; a fixer is a person who is eager to tell everybody else how they need to be doing things, but many times have little understanding or experience in such matters. Such a person attempts to be the Holy Spirit in other people's lives, where they have no authority or right to step in. They find their identity in fixing other people's problems, and they love it when people come to them for help or advise.

The truth is that we were created to be loved, accepted, and appreciated. Rejection is an anti-Christ spirit because it opposes the very nature that God created in us. Rejection starves a person from love and acceptance that they were designed to receive. The problem is that when we turn to others or even ourselves for that love and acceptance, we are setting ourselves up for failure and the damage of rejection. Only God can be trusted as the source of our identity.

Self-rejection is another piece to this puzzle. Self-rejection is where a person rejects them self. They do not like who they are. This can often lead to self-hate, self-resentment, and more. It is often tied in with self-unforgiveness, if the person has made mistakes in their life which they deeply regret. Just as it hurts when others reject us, it can do just as much damage when we reject ourselves.