Somebody

1. Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby. Somebody doesn't know that once you're a parent normal is history.
   
2. Somebody said you learn how to be a parent by instinct. Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
   
3. Somebody said being a parent is boring. Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
   
4. Somebody said if you're a "good" parent your child will "turn out well." Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
   
5. Somebody said "good" parents never raise their voices. Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see his or her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
   
6. Somebody said you don't need an education to be a parent. Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
   
7. Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first. Somebody doesn't have five children.
   
8. Somebody said a parent can find all the answers to child-rearing questions in books. Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.
   
9. Somebody said a parent can stop worrying after his or her child gets married. Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to their heartstrings.
   
10. Somebody said your parents know you love them so you don't need to tell them. Somebody isn't a parent.
    
11. Somebody said a parent's job is done when the last child leaves home. Somebody never had grandchildren.