Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three (3) most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? (The other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering. Don't EVEN think of going there!) So I now present for you....
*Things NOT To Say When Hanging The Christmas Lights*
- "You've got two red lights right next to each other, goober. You're supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue..."
- "Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try."
- "What on earth do you do to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in knots?"
- "Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going to fry that sucker."
- "If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't just throw them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse than your father."
- "Give me that!!"
- "You've got the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The electric pluggee thing should be down here at the bottom, not up at the top."
- "I don't care if you have found another two strings, I'm done!."
- "You've just wound 'em around and around - I thought we agreed it shouldn't look like a spiral this year?"
- "Have you been drinking?!!?"
- "Okaaay! Looks like we're *finally* done here now. Not too shabby huh? Hey....wait a minute, where's the cat?"
No comments:
Post a Comment