Expectations (Part 1)

Expectations (Part 1)


Expectations are beliefs that advance from a person’s thought process when examining evidence. Understand this:

-Our expectations are not always correct because of flaws in our logic and the bias of hope and desire. 

-Sometimes, we “get our hopes up” based on a false premise or a misreading of the evidence. Often, we form expectations automatically, without conscious effort. 

-When expectations are not met, pain ensues, and we often place blame on the something or someone who did not live up to our expectations, even if our expectations were unreasonable.

-Expectations based on human assumptions can cause trouble. 

When a man and a woman get married, they both carry expectations into the marriage. The man may see evidence that his wife is a caring, kind, and patient person. He forms expectations about what she will be like as a mother. Or perhaps his own mother was a great cook, and he expects his wife to possess the same culinary skills. If she does not turn out to be a patient mother or a particularly good cook, he may feel hurt and let down. The woman going into the marriage may see evidence that her husband has a good job and is well-liked by others. She forms an expectation that they will not likely have money troubles. Then, if he loses his job or changes careers and they begin to struggle financially, she may resent him based on her expectation. 

This couple is now dealing with hurt feelings and resentment based entirely on what they had hoped would happen. There was no promise made in either case, but they both still feel as if they’ve been deceived. Faulty expectations can create a lot of trouble in any relationship, be it parent/child, boss/employee, friends, ministry partners, or members of a sports team. Any time there is mutual dependency, expectations exist, and, if those expectations are not met, conflict can be the result.