Why? (Part 5)

Why? (Part 5)

I have been asked by several younger pastors about social drinking and why I believe it is wrong. Some may even think my stand against it is old fashioned, but most of the scriptures that relate to alcohol are negative. My first response is that there seems to be great confusion on what the Bible actually teaches regarding alcohol. It is true that alcoholic beverages were used in Bible times and that the wine Jesus drank may have contained some small degree of alcoholic content. What is certainly not true is that the wine Jesus drank is the same as wine today.

In the Bible, drunkenness is always associated with disaster. If you study the lives of Noah, Lot, Nabal, Elah, Ben-hadad, Belshazzar, and the Corinthians, you will see in every case that tragedy followed the use of alcohol. Very few would argue that drunkenness is acceptable, but the only way to insure you never get drunk would be that you never drink alcohol. The Bible doesn’t stop at a simple condemnation of drunkenness, it is clear in its denunciation of alcohol:

-Proverbs 20:1 "Wine will mock you, cause you to fight, and lead you astray."

-Proverbs 23:19-35 state that wine creates poverty, woe, contentions, wounds, mental instability, foul language, and the deadening of one’s feelings. 

-Isaiah 5:11-14 instructs us that intoxicating drink is said to bring on the judgment of God, is done by those with no knowledge, it removes honor, and places one on the road to death and hell.

-Hosea warns that wine will enslave you in Hosea 4:11. 

-Habakkuk 2:5-17 declares that the wicked transgress by wine, that they are proud, and like death can never be satisfied. He further declares a woe against those who give drink to their neighbors.

-Paul said in Romans 13:11-14 Paul that alcohol is a “work of darkness,” it leads to other sins and makes a “provision for the flesh.” This is not becoming to one who has “put on the Lord Jesus Christ."

-Romans 13 also lists some common evils that go hand-in-hand with drinking: revelry, drunken parties, which include immoral activity; lewdness and lust, both of which refer to sexual immorality. Alcohol has been the poor excuse for a myriad of cases of sexual immorality. Alcohol weakens inhibitions, deadens the soul to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and opens the door to the deception of demons. No wonder many are led astray in this regard.

When one uses alcohol because the mind loses control over the faculties and things are said and done that bring offense. How many public figures have we read about, not to mention preachers, who blamed their “misbehavior” or “misspoken words” on the fact that they had too much to drink?

For pastors, perhaps our greatest concern should be the spiritual influence that we have over others. The separate, holy life calls for us to be different from world.
Our choices about the use of alcohol will have a significant influence on others. The long term effect of our influence is often overlooked. Even if the argument could be made that an individual could so control his drinking that it would have no impact on his own life there would still be the need to consider the impact he might have on others.

If someone sees you drinking and knows that you are a professing Christian, and in particular a pastor, then they will assume it is acceptable to drink. However, if they are unable to control their drinking because of your influence on them could lead them down the slippery slope of destruction. I have known of two very influential pastors in the past 15 years who sucumbed to the power of alcohol and had a very devastating effect on their churches, family, and community. I know of one pastor who committed suicide rather than seek help for this addiction. The best way to overcome this situationis not to allow yourself to become menpleasers, but vessels of honor to God. They may call you old fashioned, but those you influence for the good will thank you someday rather than blame you for their predicament.

Why? (Part 4)

Why? (Part 4)

Thom Ranier shared this information about why many pastors who low self-esteem. I want to share this article and recommend his blog. He wrote:

"We have found specific reasons why many of these leaders are lacking in confidence, and are even fearful to carry out their responsibilities. Here are eight of the most common reasons.

-They are not trained in many of the business-related tasks of leading a church. 

Some don’t understand church financial statements. Others struggle to lead a church in a building program. 

-Some don’t know how to lead a meeting. 

While church members should certainly fill these voids, pastors and church staff still need a basic knowledge of these areas.

-They are not trained or equipped to lead. 

How much of leadership is natural ability and how much is learned? While no one has conclusively answered this question, we can say that most of us can become better leaders with training. But many of our pastors and church staff have no formal leadership training. A smaller church may have a budget of $150,000, but the pastor has no organizational leadership skills. Can you imagine being tasked to lead a $150,000 small business with no skills to do so?

-They do not know what to do when the church hits a barrier. 

Leaders of churches will always hit barriers in attendance, stewardship, leadership development and others. But too many church leaders do not understand some of the basic approaches to overcoming barriers.

-They have been burned. 

Countless numbers of church leaders have been burned after they made a decision. 

Some have been criticized relentlessly. Some have been fired. These leaders are reticent to lead because of the pain they have incurred. There are some church members who should not be in places of leadership at the church. A pastor shared the story about a chairman of the church’s finance committee. That chairman was a constant critic of the pastor, even to the point of trying to oust the pastor. The pastor would later learn the finance committee chairman never gave a penny to the church, and even questioned his own commitment to Christ. Leaders in businesses typically have the authority to move out poor performers. That is not the case for most pastors.

-They have too many “bosses.” 

Regardless of church polity, many church members think the pastor and church staff work for them. It takes unique leadership skills to deal with this reality.

-They did not ask the right questions on the front end. 

Before they accepted the position, many pastors and staff did not have any idea about the realities of the church they now serve. They thus feel ill equipped to lead in their context.

-They are unable to get support from their churches for ongoing training. 

Too many churches think training ends at seminary or Bible college for their pastors and staff. Many of these leaders are in desperate need of ongoing training and development." 

I can share from my own experience you can become a victim to the lack of self-esteem because of almost all of these circumstances. It only takes one event to make you doubt yourself and your God-given talents. Make up your mind to not become a victim, but rather a victor. If God helped you start the journey, He will help you make it until the end.

Why? (Part 3)

Why? (Part 3)

Mark Laaser and Louis Gregoire condcted a survey in 2003 that examined some daily circumstances that factor into a pastor’s pornography use, although some conditions could surely cultivate other addictions as well:

-Pastors may spend their entire workday alone in front of a computer with easy access to Internet pornography. 

-Porn can also artificially cater to the emotional needs of those with little connectivity with others.

-Spiritual leaders with low salaries can still access affordable or free Internet porn.

-Internet porn is anonymous. You don’t need to set foot in a store anymore, and history can be deleted in a single click.

Like most substance addictions, pornography becomes a “mood medicine.” The neurochemicals induce temporary euphoria and relaxation, but the vicious cycle of shifting moods is carried on by an aftermath of guilt.

The real trap, however, is the inability to escape this cycle. This cycle alone can be very difficult to overcome, but throw in an extra load of shame, guilt, fear and blame, and you’ve got a problem that’s not going to go away without bold intervention.

Addictions among clergy often remain unresolved due to intense feelings of disgrace. They often feel, "I’ve disgraced myself,  my family, my church and God." However, “disgrace” is terrible word choice likely installed by society’s strong reactions to the hypocritical mistakes of spiritual leaders. This notion of disgrace, or a falling from grace, is exactly what keeps addiction in the dark where it flourishes.

Pastors who have bravely and honestly disclosed their struggle with addiction advise others to do the same. Hushing the issue, especially one as covert as pornography, only pushes the addiction deeper into unseen corners.

Yet when we learn of the prevalence of addiction among our spiritual leaders, we shouldn’t raise our eyebrows with condemnation, but we should respond with compassion and support. This is not acquitting leaders of their sins, but lifting our brothers from depths impossible to climb out on your own. Although the consequences must be confronted, addiction is an enemy no one should have to fight alone.

Those who conquer addiction go on to be shining examples of God’s grace, and those who walk beside Him are blessed to be partners in recovery. Christ’s example of unconditional forgiveness has been set before us, and God shows us mercy despite our sin, forgiving, cleansing and transforming sinners like all of us that have made mistakes or had failures in our life. I'm glad He doesn't ask why and instead offers forgiveness when we ask.

Why? (Part 2)

Why? (Part 2)

I credit Relevant magazine with help on this article.

The most common addiction among spiritual leaders is pornography, although substance abuse is just as gripping in its consequences. 40 percent of evangelical Protestant leaders in the U.S. struggle with pornography. Whatever the substance, the nature of addiction is relatively universal in how it develops, takes control and bears consequences.

Addiction among pastors is rarely seen or heard of, but when it does get out, it stirs shock and anger in loved ones. Fear and shame drive the addiction into secrecy where it thrives. In this hidden vault of guilt, addiction is preserved until a catalyst forces it out, but it’s a problem far larger than the individual.

-Shame is often both the consequence of giving in to an addiction the last time, as well as the precondition for giving in to it next time, resulting in more shame.

-Shame, defined by personal and collective expectations, pushes addiction to seemingly hopeless depths. It’s this psychology, assumed by both pastors and their community, that must be critically examined to unravel addiction’s tight coils.

Addiction comes in many forms: pills, liquids, powders and pixels, but one doesn’t simply fall victim once these things rear their ugly head. One accepts them as small seeds and hates them once they grow larger than the afflicted imagines they ever would. Eventually, an addicted person realizes they’re no longer in control and that their ability to resist is gone despite their deepest desires to rid themselves of this routine sin.

We can understand when addiction arises from medicinal drugs, creating a dependency. But why can’t people just quit watching porn?

Here are some some biological facts. 

-The addictive “high” is produced by four chemicals: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and norepinephrine. 

Many drugs artificially induce the release of these chemicals, and your brain develops tolerance with extended use, and as tolerance is increased, the brain begins to believe it needs more to create the same initial effect. Pornography stimulates similar euphoric reactions, but the addiction itself is largely psychological.

-The preconditions for addiction begin early through a childhood trauma or an early start with pornography often resonates into adulthood. 

Maturation, marriage, family and work can straighten out bad habits, but the urges may already be hardwired at this point and harder to resist.

-Porn taps into physical and emotional desires, spiritual leaders are surprisingly susceptible.

The media is quick to publicize pastors caught in a moment of hypocrisy. Names like Ted Haggard and Eddie Long in recent years lend ammunition to anti-religious groups and shame Christians worldwide, and perhaps the pastors who struggle with pornography are afraid they’re no better.

Should all pastors who struggle with addictions be compared to these sensational figures? 

Absolutely not, but public reaction to Christian hypocrisy certainly doesn’t help pastors admit their wrongs and seek recovery. Fear of losing their position as a pastor, disgracing the Christian faith and endangering family life drive their addiction into secrecy and often lends itself to an even greater tragedy when it is discovered.

Why? (Part 1)

Why? (Part 1)

Why are so many pastors committing suicide? Suicide is not a new problem among clergy, but the number of pastors who are committing it is increasing every year.

According to the Schaeffer Institute:

-70 percent of pastors are constantly fighting depression. 

-71 percent are burned out. 

-72 percent of pastors say they only study the Bible when they are preparing for sermons.

-80 percent believe their pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families.

-70 percent say they don’t have a close friend or are fearful of showing a weakness to their peers.

-80 percent of seminary and Bible school graduates will leave the ministry within five years. 

Although it’s not clear how many commit suicide, but it is clear that pastors are not immune to it. Psychologists point to several reasons why people commit suicide, from depression to psychosis to stressful life situations. Whatever drives someone to take their own life ultimately begins in the mind. Suicidal thoughts precede suicide.

The Mayo Clinic says:

“Suicidal thoughts have numerous causes. Most often, suicidal thoughts are the result of feeling like you can’t cope when you’re faced with what seems to be an overwhelming life situation. If you don’t have hope for the future, you may mistakenly think suicide is a solution. You may experience a sort of tunnel vision, where in the middle of a crisis you believe suicide is the only way out.” 

Suicidal thoughts are not uncommon. Nearly 8.3 million adults age 18 and older in the United States had serious thoughts of suicide in the past year, according to a study released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Although some suicides are impulsive, most are planned out. More than 2 million adult Americans made a suicide plan in the past year, and about half that many went through with the plan.

Remember, suicide starts with a thought. Indeed, every action we take starts with a thought. Many of the harmful actions we take originate from the seed of a thought Satan whispers to our souls. That seed grows as our minds reason out the benefits of acting on the thought. For those contemplating suicide, I believe the seed grows in their minds as they reason themselves out of living because life’s circumstances are too overwhelming.

When the enemy plants a vain imagination in our minds, we have two choices: 

-Cast it down. 

-Meditate on it. 

When we meditate on vain imaginations, we tend to connect unholy dots that create false pictures of reality. Believing what we see in our thought life is real, we talk ourselves into taking action based on a wrong perception. I believe this is what happens with many suicides committed not only by pastors, but others as well. The enemy plants a seed in the form of a thought and a distraught soul doesn’t discern as a demonic attack on their life.

If we want to win the battle against suicide in the pulpit and the pew, we need to take ahold of Scriptures that instruct us about the battle in our mind. Paul told us, 

Paul said in 2 Corinthians 10:4-6:

“The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.” 

No one can take your thoughts captive for you, but you can take your own thoughts captive, and it starts with girding up the loins of your mind according to 1 Peter 1:13.

Philippians 4:8,9

“Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” 

If we meditate on what the Word tells us to meditate on the enemy’s seeds won’t take root in our souls.

So, if you see your pastor or anyone else struggling with depression or hear them speak disturbing thoughts that aren’t in line with the Word of God, pray and ask God what He would have you do. Then do it. Suicide is a leading cause of death in the United States, and the enemy is targeting our spiritual leaders in this hour. Let’s rise up and battle against this disturbing trend in the name of Jesus.

Expectations (Part 7)

Expectations (Part 7)

There must be a valid reason for whatever you expect. That is, you must have a real, biblical basis for what you believe for and in. I want to use the examples I to share with you the three foundations of positive expectations. When you know these, you can change your thinking and speaking accordingly, and thereby experience the power of expectation at work in your life, too.

-Know The Character of God.

David had such an intimate relationship with the Lord that he knew God is faithful and loving and desires good things for His people. David's declaration was based on God's character.

Today, not only do we have the benefit of knowing the character of God through the 24/7 presence of His Holy Spirit in our lives, but we also have God's Word that reveals who He is and what He wants. Rather than set our expectations according to how something appears or feels, we should instead renew our minds according to the truth of who God is and what He says.

-The History of God.

The woman who suffered from hemorrhaging built her confidence that she would be healed based on stories of others who were healed before her. This is a very effective way to build faith and expectation that's modeled even in modern church history.

Consider some of the great moves of God within the twentieth century, all of which were coupled with tremendous miracles. In each case, when word of the miracles spread, faith was built in the hearers to expect that what God was doing for others, He could also do for them. And indeed, God honored these expectations.

If you need an instant boost of confidence that God will work something out in your life, begin to study the stories of God's power in the lives of others. Remember, God doesn't show favoritism (Rom. 2:11). If He did it for someone else, He can also do it for you.

-The Word of God

Finally, Paul's confidence that he and his crew would make it out alive came because he set his eyes on God's Word. The Lord had revealed to Him that he would stand before the emperor, and thus Paul determined to trust God's Word over even a seemingly deadly storm (Acts 27:23–24).

Paul's expectation founded on the assurance of God's Word. This is an extremely practical method for us today. With thousands of promises throughout Scripture, we have plenty of reasons for great expectations.

Maybe it's time you take inventory of your expectations. If your mantra sounds more like, "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong," then you're missing out on huge potential for positive transformation in your life.

Whatever the situation, ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to Scriptures, promises and stories that bolster your faith that something good is going to happen. Then keep those words and reminders running through your mind and your mouth. Begin your morning or take on that circumstance with curiosity, saying, "I wonder how God will surprise me today?" Then wait expectantly to see what God does.

Expectations (Part 6)

Expectations (Part 6)

What you expect from Jesus will determine what you receive.

When Jesus visited Nazareth, his hometown, his childhood friends and neighbors were initially impressed by his words according to Mark 6:2. But then they recognized him. Verse 3 says, “Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us? And then they took offense at him.” 

Once they recognized Jesus, their expectations dropped. He wasn’t a prophet. He was Jesus, the one who grew up with their kids. The carpenter and mason. Great worker, good guy, but no miracle worker. 

The word for “offense” above could be translated, “scandal.” They had exposed a charlatan and an illusionist. He may have fooled the people in Capernaum, but he wouldn’t fool them. That’s when Jesus said a prophet is not without honor except in his home town and among his own relatives and household in Mark 6:4.

Verses 5 and 6 then say, “He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them.” That’s a powerful declaration. It doesn’t say Jesus “would” do no miracles there, but that he “could not” do any miracles there, necause of expectations based on what they had seen from Jesus before.

Just before this incident we find the story of a woman with a twelve-year flow of blood. She had spent all of her money on doctors and only gotten worse. Yet, this woman, who had not grown up with Jesus, expected to be healed if she could touch his robe. Many people touched the Lord on that occasion and weren’t healed, but because she expected healing power to flow from Jesus into his robe and into her, Jesus healed her.

Make no mistake, what you expect from Jesus is what you’ll receive. 

Expectations (Part 5)

Expectations (Part 5)

Expectations are activated with God’s word. The Word declares in Luke 6:38, “Give, and it shall be given.” The instruction is to give. The promise is to receive the benefit. When you obey the instruction, then you get the result.

Genesis 1:1-3 says, “In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light...” The words “let there be” are recorded ten times in Genesis.

All you see was created by God who is a spirit. All creation is the result of words spoken by God in the invisible spirit realm that created all that you see in the natural realm. This means everything seen was created by that which is unseen according to Hebrews 11:3. This indicates the spirit realm is more real than the physical realm around you.

The words you speak declare your expectations. Words chart a path into your future. Every thought you think and every word you speak is creating something in your future or your spiritual expectations.

Jesus and his disciples were on their way into the city. Jesus saw a fig tree without fruit and cursed it. The Disciples thought that was really strange. Returning the next day Peter seeing the fig tree dried up from the roots pointed it out:

Mark 11:20-23 “And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots. And Peter calling to remembrance saith unto him, Master, behold the fig tree which thou cursed is withered away. And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.”

Jesus was not teaching on how to curse a fig tree. He was teaching his disciples that the Word of God had power over the natural realm. The fig tree had to obey. Remember, ALL the world is governed by the word of God. Everything within God’s rule is designed to be obedient to His Word.

The day Jesus cursed the fig tree nothing visible happened. He spoke words, and no one saw anything happen, so where did His words go?” The answer is expectation, because those words went into His future. It wasn’t until the next day that the disciples saw the result of the words that Jesus spoke

When you speak the Word of God in your life concerning your expectations, don’t get discouraged if you don’t see anything happen right away. Those hopes and dreams that you speak live and are waiting for you in your future. Words enter destinations. Words lay down a spiritual path to a destination. Remember, all expectations are connected to the words you speak. 

Expectations (Part 4)

Expectations (Part 4)

The Bible lays out some principles that help us form expectations and deal with the expectations of others:

-Openness and honesty with ourselves and with others is the first key. 

We all fail ourselves and others in many ways according to James 3:2 and we should be able to admit when we are wrong. You should not base your expectations on mere assumption, but on verifiable truth, if at all possible. Discuss with our loved ones what your expectations are and what theirs areas well.

-Forgive yourself and others.

The people in Jesus’ day were expecting the Messiah but, when He came, they had some unrealistic expectations of what He’d do. They wanted the Messiah to free them from Rome, and they wrongly expected Jesus to establish His kingdom then and there according to Luke 19:11. When He did not fulfill their expectations, they were frustrated and angry enough to kill. But Jesus forgave them in Luke 23:34. If Jesus could forgive the men who called out “Crucify Him!” we can forgive our loved ones and friends who harbor wrong expectations of us.

-Love is patient and kind, and it does not insist on its own way in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7. 

You need to remember that all people are different. If you have formed expectations for friends or loved ones that they cannot live up to, it is not their fault. You have the power to change your expectations, and, if you find that your expectations of others are unreasonable, you should be flexible.

-Expectations can be amazing things when they are thought of in the spirit!  

Philippians 3:20, 21 "But our citizenship is in Heaven, and from it we await (also translated expect) a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him even to subject all things to Himself." 

Philippians 1:20, 21 "As it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.  For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."  

When Christ is the focus, everything else becomes clear.  Salvation is only by His blood, and you and I can definitely expect to see Jesus when we pass away from this earth.  It is such an amazing gift!

Expectations (Part 2)

Expectations (Part 2)

Expectations can be high or low, reasonable or unreasonable, good or bad. The Bible speaks of:

-Expectations of redemption-Romans 8:19.

-Expectations of judgment-Hebrews 10:27.

-Delayed expectations-Proverbs 13:12a.

-Realized expectations-Proverbs 13:12b.

-Unrealized expectations-Proverbs 11:7. 

In everything, you should look to God and trust Him according to Proverbs 3:5, 6. His promises are absolutely sound, and your expectation that He will fulfill His Word is called faith. You can expect God to do exactly what He says he will do in 2 Corinthians 1:20; Joshua 21:45; Psalm 77:8; and 2 Peter 1:4. When based on God’s Word, our expectations will never fail to be met. 

Psalm 19:7 “The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy.” 

-So don’t always believe what people tell you. 

Expectation means you trust what the Lord tells you and rely upon Him and His Word. People will overlook you and tell you you're not the one for the job. They keep saying why you can't do it, but hear the Word of the Lord:

Psalm 121:1 "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help."

John 10:4 "And when He putteth forth His own sheep, He goeth before them, and the sheep follow Him: for they know His voice."

John 10:27, 28 "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand."

-Expectation means you don’t focus on what you can’t do. 

Many around you will explain all the reasons why you can't do the job. They will complained about your lack of experience, lack of knowledge, ack of strength, and even your active nature against you by falsely accusing your motives. But, know the Lord is withyou and has shown you what you're supposed to do. Focus on what you can do in Jesus and all you can do in His strength. 

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

Verse 19 "But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

If you continue to focus on the things you cannot do, you will never get anything done. Focusing on what you cannot do is a clear indication that you are operating out of your own strength. We serve a God that can. Therefore, we can live with great expectations when God is in it!

Expectations (Part 1)

Expectations (Part 1)


Expectations are beliefs that advance from a person’s thought process when examining evidence. Understand this:

-Our expectations are not always correct because of flaws in our logic and the bias of hope and desire. 

-Sometimes, we “get our hopes up” based on a false premise or a misreading of the evidence. Often, we form expectations automatically, without conscious effort. 

-When expectations are not met, pain ensues, and we often place blame on the something or someone who did not live up to our expectations, even if our expectations were unreasonable.

-Expectations based on human assumptions can cause trouble. 

When a man and a woman get married, they both carry expectations into the marriage. The man may see evidence that his wife is a caring, kind, and patient person. He forms expectations about what she will be like as a mother. Or perhaps his own mother was a great cook, and he expects his wife to possess the same culinary skills. If she does not turn out to be a patient mother or a particularly good cook, he may feel hurt and let down. The woman going into the marriage may see evidence that her husband has a good job and is well-liked by others. She forms an expectation that they will not likely have money troubles. Then, if he loses his job or changes careers and they begin to struggle financially, she may resent him based on her expectation. 

This couple is now dealing with hurt feelings and resentment based entirely on what they had hoped would happen. There was no promise made in either case, but they both still feel as if they’ve been deceived. Faulty expectations can create a lot of trouble in any relationship, be it parent/child, boss/employee, friends, ministry partners, or members of a sports team. Any time there is mutual dependency, expectations exist, and, if those expectations are not met, conflict can be the result.

Expectations (Part 3)

Expectations (Part 3)

Expectations also come from what we’re used to, our family growing up, or our own personalities. 

-If you grew up in a family where shouting and open conflict was the normal way to resolve an issue, you will expect others to shout and be pugnacious if they have a problem with you. 

-A person who prefers to hide emotion and talk issues out rationally may find it impossible to convince you that she’s been hurt because she’s not shouting yet, so it can’t be that serious. So you therefore continue to repeat the behavior that irritates her.

There are some people who the Bible says should not expect much. 

-The wicked-Proverbs 11:7 says, they should not expect to retain their ill-gotten gains: “When the wicked dies, his hope will perish, / and the expectation of wealth perishes too” in Proverbs 10:28 ESV. Crime doesn’t pay, in other words. 

-The double-minded, faithless man should not expect answers to prayer: 

James 1:7 “That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.”

The Bible encourages those who trust in the Lord to expect good things from Him. 

Psalm 62:5 “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.” 

Provers 23:18 indicate that those who live in the fear of the Lord have this promise: 

“There is surely a future hope for you, / and your hope will not be cut off.” 

The godly are justified in having great expectations.