Honoring Our Elders

When King Solomon died, his son Rehoboam succeeded him as king over Israel (1 Kings 11:42-12:20). Initially he ruled over all 12 tribes. But early in his reign, the people of Israel requested that Rehoboam not repeat the harsh rulership of his father, the late King Solomon. So the new king asked for some time to consult with two groups of advisors: (1) the elders who had served his father Solomon, and (2) the young men who had grown up with Rehoboam.

 

The elders, men who had learned much wisdom over a long life, encouraged the new king to hear the people, to grant their request, and to serve them graciously as their king. But to his hurt Rehoboam rejected the advice of the older men (12:13) and accepted the disastrous advice of his younger companions, who said to tell the people, "My father made your yoke heavy, and I will add to your yoke: my father also chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions." (12:14).

 

The result of his embracing the younger men’s rash counsel and rejecting the advice of the proven, older men was the rebellion of the ten northern tribes. They made Jereboam their king instead, leaving King Rehoboam with only the tribe of Judah (12:16-20). I quote this piece of Bible history to demonstrate the importance of paying proper attention and respect to what I call the "wisdom of the elders".

The Bible says in Proverbs 12:15 "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise."

A wise man or woman is one who listens to advice. This is in contrast to a fool, who looks to himself as the source of wisdom. But it’s not just advice that we need. Rehoboam got advice from his young companions, but it was wrong advice! It led to catastrophe for the king. So remember, it’s not just counsel, but good counsel that we need from others. And the Scriptures give a number of illustrations where that good counsel is likely to be drawn out of the older men and women, who have lived a long life and learned many valuable lessons. And by “older”, I mean those significantly older than the one seeking advice.

Leviticus 19:32 "Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the Lord."

Proverbs 16:31 "The hoary head (NIV: gray hair) is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness."

I’m not suggesting that just any older person is automatically a good source of godly advice. You and I both know that is not the case. Like a percentage of the adults of any age, some older people are criminals, some are drunkards, some are foolish in their life choices, and some show very little wisdom.

Time and again I turned to men older than I was. But they were not just older; they had also lived upright, godly lives for many decades. These were mature believers who had “exercised themselves unto godliness” (1 Timothy 4:7). Seek counsel from older men and women of God who have a proven track record, who have lived for God victoriously over the long haul.

Proverbs 6:20-23 "My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life..."

The first place to look for the wisdom of the "olders" is with Dad and Mom. I was blessed to be raised by God-fearing parents. Not all have that privilege, I realize. But that is still God’s ideal plan for instilling wisdom in young children. That is, they are to receive godly, bible-based teaching and life lessons from their parents.

1 Timothy 5:1, 2 "Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity."
Bible scholars generally agree that the apostle Paul was writing to young Timothy (4:12) in his role as pastor of a church, most likely in Ephesus. Paul exhorts the young minister to treat the older saints with kindness and high regard, treating the older men as fathers and the older women as mothers.

This picture of a young pastor in a mixed-age congregation that includes older men and women is actually quite similar to our opening story. The new, young King Rehoboam lost most of his “congregation” (the ten northern tribes) by listening to his youthful companions and announcing harsh measures. By contrast, the older advisors had counseled the king to treat the Israelites with kindness and an attitude of service to them. It’s the same in church leadership, in government, or in the business world. Younger men and women may be placed in positions of authority even over those older than them. Should they lead? Yes. But they should do it with deference to and respect for the accumulated “wisdom of the years” to be found among their older co-workers or fellow church members.

Titus 2:3-5 "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

There is a need in the church for younger women, in many cases recently married and beginning to raise their new families. Where should they turn for advice on being good wives, mothers, homemakers, and Christians? The answer is: to the “older women”, who have learned much by being good wives and successfully raising children over a long period of time.

How old is an “older” woman? Well, I’ve learned a few things over the course of my 61 years, and one of those is not to tell a woman at what age she becomes “older”! An “older” woman in this context doesn’t need to be in her 70's. No, she could be 40 and be counseling and teaching a young mother of age 20. That would certainly qualify her on all counts as relatively older and in possession of much experiential wisdom from having raised her own family, managed a successful home, and enjoyed a good marriage.

Avoid the error of King Rehoboam, who accepted the counsel of his young companions who were inexperienced in leadership. It seems that they responded out of passion and immaturity. But the wisdom the new, young king needed was that given by the elders, the older, mature men who had much experience and accumulated wisdom. As an older man myself, my heartfelt encouragement to you is to seek out and give a listening ear to the “wisdom of the olders”. Your life will be better for it.