The following are actual instructions found on the named items:
ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS;
- Do not use while sleeping.
ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP,
- Directions: Use like regular soap.
ON A FROZEN DINNER:
- Serving suggestion: Defrost.
ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:
- Fits one head.
ON TIRIMISU DESERT
- Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING
- Product will be hot after heating.
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON
- Do not iron clothes on body.
ON CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE
- Do not drive car or operate machinery.
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID)
- Warning: may cause drowsiness.
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE
- Warning: keep out of children.
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
- For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR
- Not to be used for the other use.
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS
- Warning: contains nuts.
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS
- Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW
- Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
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