Turning Things Around in 2019 (Part 4)

Turning Things Around in 2019 (Part 4)

-Choose yourself.

You won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you have to be a top priority to yourself.  

a. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become your own support system.  

b. Love yourself first and foremost every day, instead of simply loving the idea of other people loving you.  

c. Your needs matter.  Start meeting them.  

d. Don’t wait on others to choose you, so choose yourself!  

Remember that once your needs are met, you will be better equipped and capable of meeting the needs of the people who matter the most to you and also those that God puts in your path. 

-Invest in your health.

No matter how much you think you dislike exercise and healthy eating, both will make you feel better in the long run.  If you don’t have your physical energy tuned up, then your focus, your feelings, and your purpose will all be negatively affected.  Recent studies conducted on people who were battling depression showed that consistent exercise combined with a healthy diet raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft?  Even better, six months later the people who participated in this exercise were less likely to relapse because they had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth. Take care of yourself so you have the ability to take care of others.

-Live in the present.

a. Don’t avoid eye contact.  

b. Don’t hide behind gadgets.  

c. Smile often.  

d. Ask about people’s stories.  

e. Listen.  

You can’t connect with anyone, including yourself, unless you are undistracted and present. You are ripping yourself off from actually experiencing real relationships and real life if you stay stuck in the past.  

-Make time for the right people. 

At some point you’ll just want to be around the few people who make you smile for all the right reasons.  So be intentional about spending more quality time with those who help you love yourself more.  Remember that nothing you can give them will ever be more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention.  Truly being with them, and listening without a clock and without anticipation of the next event, is the highest form of compliment.

Turning Things Around in 2019 (Part 5)

Turning Things Around in 2019 (Part 5)

-Say “goodbye” so you can say “hello.” 

Learn to trust God in your journey, even when you do not understand it.  If people and circumstances close their doors on you, it’s a signal that your spiritual and personal growth requires something different or something more.  Life is simply making room for God to lead you where you should go.  So embrace your goodbyes, because every “goodbye” you receive in life sets you up for an important “hello.”

-Start over again, and again. 

No one wins a game of chess by just moving forward; sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win.  Think about how this relates to your life.  Sometimes when it feels like you’re running into one dead end after another, it’s actually a sign from God that you’re not on the right path.  Maybe you were meant to hang a left back when you took a right, and that’s perfectly fine.  

Life continually teaches us that U-turns are allowed.  So turn around when you must!  There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction.  Remember, here are three little words that can release you from your past mistakes and regrets, and get you back on track in the year ahead.  These words are: “From now on…”

-Walk away from the drama you feel inclined to engage in. 

Say less when less means more.  Sometimes, you are as wise as the silence you leave behind, because sometimes the right words aren’t words.  Deep down you know this is true so live accordingly.  Do your best not to judge other people, for you do not know their pain or sorrows.  If you cannot speak a kind word, say nothing at all.  And if they cannot speak a kind word, say nothing at all.  Enjoy the inner glow you get from letting go and not engaging in drama.  When you no longer waste your energy worrying about things that don’t involve you, everything gradually changes.  You stop doing the wrong things, and the right things suddenly have a chance to catch up with you.

Turning Things Around In 2019 (Part 3)

Turning Things Around In 2019 (Part 3)

-Distance yourself from hurtful relationships. 

One of the absolute hardest parts of loving somebody is that you have to give things up because of them, and sometimes you even have to give them up.  It’s difficult to distance yourself from someone you care about without getting hurt in the process.  Even if this relationship has hurt you a hundred times, you start thinking of all these “what ifs" and “maybes” about the future.  However, there’s nothing concrete and reliable about these fantasies.  The reality of this person’s consistent actions has disproven them.  When someone shows you their true colors time and time again, and consistently hurts you, it’s best to love them and distance yourself from that relationship that leads you down a pathway of pain..  

-Forgive the people who don’t necessarily deserve it. 

Distance yourself and forgive them.  Forgetting about the people who hurt you is your gift to them, but forgiving the people who hurt you is your gift to yourself.  Let this sink in.  You need to forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness at the moment, but because you deserve peace of mind going forward.  Relationships can temporarily split, only to heal and grow back together over time.  Forgiveness alone makes this possible, if it’s meant to be, even if they don't really deserve it.

-Find joy in less. 

People who spend all their time trying to make money, spend all their money trying to make time.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Remind yourself that the richest human isn’t the one who has the most, but the one who needs less.  Wealth is a mindset.  Want less and appreciate more today.  Challenge yourself to be less impressed by the things you own, and be more impressed by the life you live.  You are incredibly fortunate to be experiencing this moment right here, right now, and the more you appreciate it, the better it will be.  

-Say “no” when you need to. 

Saying “yes” to everything and everybody puts you on the fast track to a regretful existence.  Feeling like you’re constantly busy and overwhelmed is typically the result of saying “yes” to too often.  We all have obligations, but a healthy, effective pace can only be found by properly managing your yeses.  So stop saying “yes” when you want to say “no.”  You can’t always be agreeable; that’s how people and situations take advantage of you.  Sometimes you have to set clear boundaries.

Turning Things Around In 2019 (Part 2)

Turning Things Around In 2019 (Part 2)

-Remember you are flawed and so is everyone else. 

You can disappoint people and still be good enough.  You can fail and still be smart, talented and capable of success.  You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love and admiration.  We all make mistakes sometimes.  Take a deep breath.  It’s OK to be human. God's grace is still sufficient to help us overcome our shortcomings.

-Study your mistakes closely and learn from them.  

Disappointments and failure are two of the greatest stepping-stones to the place you want to go.  Again, don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart.  When things go wrong, learn what you can and then push the heartbreak aside by refocusing your faith on the present step.  Remember that life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.  We must fail in order to know, and hurt in order to grow.  Good things often fall apart so better things can fall together in their place, and what’s better already is the more informed step you’re able to take right now.

-Choose a positive and effective response. 

Happiness doesn’t start with a relationship, a vacation, a job or even money.  It starts with you.  If you want life to be happier, you need to be mindful of your present response.  It’s how you deal with stress in each little moment that determines how well you achieve happiness in the end. Nobody can decide that for you. You have to make the right choices!

-Directly confront the thoughts that worry you. 

A tiny part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by how you respond to them.  Recognize this hard truth: sometimes changing your situation isn’t possible or simply not possible soon enough, but you can always choose a mindset that moves you forward.  Doing so will help you change things from the inside out, and ultimately allow you to grow beyond the struggles you can’t control at any given moment.  Here’s a powerful question that will support you with an attitude adjustment when you need it most: Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you removed the thought that’s worrying you?

Turning Things Around In 2019 (Part 1)

Turning Things Around In 2019 (Part 1)

Are you tired of dealing with the same types of headaches and heartache over and over again? Then it’s time to break the cycle, purge some bad habits, and embrace discomfort as you prepare for the year ahead.  It’s time to learn from your mistakes rather than be conquered by them, and let your errors be of commission rather than omission.

Remember, you ultimately become what you repeatedly do.  If your habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you.  Which means it’s time for a change. So, in 2019:

-Challenge your understandings and certainties. 

Warren Buffett once said, “What the human being is best at doing is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.”  This is a tragedy, this kind of thinking.  Don’t do it to yourself.  Don’t just look for data that confirms what you already know.  Be willing to be wrong in 2019.  Be willing to learn in 2019.  Be mindful, humble and teachable every step of the way.  There’s always room for a new idea, a new perspective, and a new beginning.  Life changes every second, and so can you.  Find ways to provide a challenge to your current understandings of life, and you will discover and experience far more of life’s bounty in the year ahead.

-Track how you invest your energy and make productive shifts. 

To attract better outcomes in life, you have to become better on the inside.  Again, you can’t do the same things and expect change to take place.  You can’t blame someone else.  Take full responsibility for your next step.  Start transforming your mindset.  Start upgrading your habits.  Your life is 90% your choice!  Don’t exchange what you want most for what’s easiest at the moment.  Study your agendas and routines closely.  Figure out where your time goes, and remove needless distractions.  It’s time to focus on what really matters.

-Work diligently and consistently on meaningful goals. 

When you focus your heart and mind upon a purpose, and commit yourself to fulfill that purpose through small daily steps, blessing floods into your life.  Sadly, many of us miss the mark. One of the most common regrets in life is that people regret not being true to their goals.  Most people admit to not honoring even half of the goals that were meaningful to them, and so they end up dying with regrets.  Let this year be your wake-up call!  Spiritual and physical health bring a level of freedom and opportunity very few of us realize until we no longer have it.  As they say, there are seven days in the week and “someday” isn’t one of them.

-Do the hard things. 

Lose the expectation that everything in life should be easier.  There are rarely shortcuts to any place worth going.  Enjoy the challenge of your achievements.  See the value in your efforts and be patient with yourself and realize that patience is not just about waiting, it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your important goals.  It’s knowing deep down that doing the hard things is worth it because those are the things that ultimately define you.  Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking the path, between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with progress and fulfillment.

Why the Christmas Story Still Matters (Part 2)

Why the Christmas Story Still Matters (Part 2)

- Is a story of humility.

When kings, presidents, and other rulers appear in public, great pomp ensues. From a biblical perspective, God came first not as a ruling king but as a servant, a baby born in humble circumstances. His becoming human helps humans identify with Him.

Paul wrote of the humility Jesus displayed by becoming human:

“Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross. Because of this, God raised him up to the heights of heaven.”

-It was foretold.

Jesus’ followers noted numerous clues to his identity, prophecies written many years before His birth.

(1) The Hebrew writer Micah told around 700 BC of deliverance through a coming Messiah or “Anointed One” from Bethlehem. We know that “. . . Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea. . . .”

(2) Isaiah, writing around 700 BC, foretold that the Messiah would be born of a virgin. He wrote, “The Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. The name “Immanuel” means “God is with us.” Biblical accounts claim Jesus’ mother was a virgin when she bore Him.

(3) Additional prophecies concern the Messiah’s lineage, betrayal, suffering, execution, and resurrection. Peter Stoner, a California mathematician, calculated the probability of just eight of the 300 prophecies Jesus fulfilled coming true in one person due to chance alone. Using estimates that both he and classes of college students considered reasonable and conservative, Stoner concluded there was one chance in 1017 that those eight were fulfilled by fluke. He says 1017 silver dollars would cover the state of Texas two feet deep. Mark one coin with red fingernail polish. Stir the whole batch thoroughly. What chance would a blindfolded person have of picking the marked coin on the first try? One in 1017, the same chance that just eight of the 300 prophecies “just happened” to come true in this man, Jesus.

-It has substantial support.

Can we trust the biblical accounts of the Christmas story? Three important points we must consider:

• The Gospels bear evidence containing, eyewitness accounts of Jesus. In a courtroom, eyewitness testimony is among the most reliable evidence.

• Dr. William F. Albright, one of the world’s leading archaeologists, dated every book of the New Testament before about AD 80. There is no known record of NT factual authenticity ever being successfully challenged by a contemporary.

• Over 24,000 early manuscript copies of portions of the NT exist today. Concerning manuscript attestation, Sir Frederic Kenyon, director and principle librarian of the British Museum, concluded, “Both the authenticity and the general integrity of the books of the New Testament may be regarded as finally established.”

The Christmas story is notable for its enduring messages of hope, peace, goodwill, family and humility. It was foretold by prophets and has substantial manuscript support. But there is another reason for considering the story of Jesus’ birth, and perhaps the most important reason of them all.

-It is a story of love.

Jesus’ followers taught that His conception and birth were part of a divine plan to bring us genuine peace, inner freedom, and self-respect. They believed the biblical God wants us to enjoy friendship with Him, and meaning and purpose. Alas, our own self-centeredness separates us from Him. Left to our own, we would spend both time and eternity in this spiritually unplugged state.

Jesus came to help plug us into God. Mary’s baby was born to die, paying the penalty for our self-centeredness, which the biblical documents call “sin.” When the adult Jesus died on the cross, He carried the penalty due all our sins then rose from the dead to give new life.

Jesus explained in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” God can become your friend if you believe in Him, that is, if you trust Him to forgive you. He will never let you down.

Christmas is meant to celebrate peace and joy. Amidst the busyness of shopping, parties, presents, and fun, remember that the Prince of Peace came to spread peace and joy to all who believe in Him. Remember the reason for this season! Merry Christmas!

While The Christmas Story Still Matters (Part 1)

Why the Christmas Story Still Matters (Part 1)

What does Christmas mean to you? Times with family and friends? Perhaps carols, cards, television specials. Maybe hectic shopping, parties, and eating too much.

All these and more are part of North American Christmas. But what about the first Christmas? Why is the original story so important, if at all?

Consider theses reasons why the original Christmas story matters, even to you? You may not agree with all of them, but perhaps they will stimulate your thinking and maybe even kindle some feelings that resonate with that famous story.

The Christmas story is important because it:

-Has endured the test of time.

For two millennia, people have told of the child in a Bethlehem manger; of angels who announced his birth to shepherds; of learned men who traveled a great distance to view him.

That a story persists for many years does not prove its truthfulness. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy survive in the popular imagination, but a twenty first-century tenure at least merits our consideration. 

-Is a story of hope and survival.

Jesus’ society knew great pain and oppression. Rome ruled. Corrupt tax collectors burdened the people. Some religious leaders even sanctioned physical beating of Jewish citizens participating in required religious duties.

Joseph and his pregnant wife Mary traveled a long distance to Bethlehem to register for a census but could not obtain proper lodging. Mary bore her baby and laid him in a manger, a feeding trough for animals. Eventually, King Herod sought to kill the baby. Warned of impending risk, Joseph and Mary fled to Egypt, then returned home after Herod’s death.

Imagine how Mary felt. Traveling while pregnant would be challenging. Fleeing to another nation lest some king slay your son would not be pleasant. Yet she, Joseph, and Jesus survived the ordeal.

In the midst of social and cultural challenges, the Christmas story offers hope and encouragement toward survival, hope of new life linked to something and someone greater than oneself. Jesus was and is, according to the Bible, "the Light of the world."

So, the Christmas story is important because it has endured and because it speaks of hope and survival.

-Is a story of peace and goodwill.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman in his bestselling book Emotional Intelligence tells of boarding a New York City bus to find a driver whose friendly greeting and positive disposition spread contagious warmth among the initially cold and indifferent passengers. Goleman envisioned a “virus of good feeling” spreading through the city from this “urban peacemaker” whose good will had softened heart.

The Christmas angel announced to the shepherds, “‘Don’t be afraid! I bring you good news of great joy for everyone! The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born tonight in Bethlehem, the city of David!” A crowd of angels then appeared praising God and proclaiming peace among people of good will."

The Christmas story brings a message of peace that can soothe anxious hearts and calm interpersonal strife.

-Is a story of family:

Christmas is a time for family gatherings. This interaction can bring great joy or great stress. Estrangement or pain from past conflicts can explode.

Joseph and Mary had their share of family challenges. Consider their circumstances. The historical accounts indicate that Joseph’s fiancée became pregnant though she was a virgin. Mary believed an angel told her she was pregnant by God. Now, how would you feel if your fiancé/fiancée exhibited apparent evidence of sexual activity with someone else during your engagement? Suppose your intended said that God had sanctioned the whole thing. Would your trust and self-esteem take a nosedive? Would you cancel the wedding?

Joseph, described as “a just man, decided to break the engagement quietly, so as not to disgrace . . . [Mary] publicly.”But an angel appeared to him in a dream, explaining that the child was conceived in her by God, and told him to “name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”Joseph followed instructions and cared for his family. His continuing commitment to Mary and Jesus played a significant part in the boy’s birth and early childhood. With God’s help, the family overcame major obstacles. And so can your family.