Shame, Shame, Shame (Part 2)

Shame, Shame, Shame (Part 2)

Shame was not a natural emotion given to mankind by his Creator.  God created Adam and Eve as innocent beings and placed them in the perfect environment of the Garden of Eden.  They had abundant provision and access to all the trees and fruits of the garden except one.  Adam and Eve were warned not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for if they did they would die.  The couple did not heed this admonition and their transgression resulted in a continuing cycle of sin being passed down through subsequent ages.

Man's first transgression stemmed from a desire to be other than God created us, or to be more than human.  It is in the context of this original sin that men first encountered shame.  When Adam and Eve were created, they were both naked and were not ashamed according to Genesis 2:25, but after they ate the forbidden fruit Genesis 3:7 says this:

"...the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings."

That evening when God came for His regular time of fellowship with the couple Genesis 3:8-11 says:

"And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the  Lord God among the trees of the garden.  Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, "Where are you?"  So he said, "I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself."  And He said, "Who told you that you were naked...?"  
This record confirms what psychologists now recognize, that
"exposure of one’s self lies at the heart of shame.  A shame-based person will guard against exposing his inner self to others, but more significantly, he will guard against exposing himself to himself."

Because of their cowering, hiding, and covering Adam and Eve experienced an emotion that was new to them:  SHAME!

 -They ran, but you cannot outrun the  accusations of shame.

 -They hid, but there is no refuge from shame. 

 -They created a covering of fig leaves,but there is  no man-made covering that will conceal shame.
 

Three basic human relationships were ripped apart through sin, creating the base from which all shame operates:  The relationships of man with God, man with himself, and man with others. Adam and Eve were caught in the swirling spiral of shame because of their disobedience. 

The shame that originated in the Garden of Eden has spiraled down through the centuries much like an uncontrolled disease Its continued revolutions generate a myriad of shame-based reactions which are triggered by words, sounds, feelings, and even tastes and smells.  One noted psychologist wrote:

"The sensory perception is our first and most immediate way of knowing. Every thought we think was first perceived, seen, heard, touched, tasted, or smelled. When shame has become internalized, these images are often triggered and send the shame-based person into shame spirals."  

A word, a smell, the lyrics of a song, and other sensory images can trigger the shame associated with painful memories, resulting in a downward spiral of shame-based thoughts and reactions. 

Here is what the Word of God says in James 1:12-16:

"Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:  But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err, my beloved brethren."
 

 

Shame, Shame Shame (Part 1)

Shame, Shame, Shame (Part 1)

What exactly is this potent force called shame?   We find this word often linked with "guilt" and  "guilt and shame"  used as if they were one descriptive term.  Both words derive from similar Old English roots, but there is a definite difference between the two.

 

The biblical meaning of guilt  is “responsibility”. It is an emotion that results from violating an accepted standard by a definite, voluntary act.  It is concerned with doing or lack of doing, sins of commission or omission, or failing to do something right or doing something you know to be wrong.  Guilt results in taking personal responsibility for such actions 

Shame, on the other hand,  means "to cover up and to envelop" and is concerned with being rather than doing.  Shame says, "You are no good, you are bad, you are inadequate. Shame on you!"  

 

Paul illustrates the difference between guilt and shame when he says in Romans 7:19, "For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice." That is guilt emanating from  doing.  Then Paul agonizes in Romans 7:24, "Oh wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?" This is a cry of a tormented soul experiencing the shame of being.

 

Shame is more than remorse for an act, regret, or a feeling of responsibility.  It is internalized disgrace, humiliation, and degradation.  Shame drives you on a hunting expedition into your past, scrutinizing everything you have done wrong and building a case against you like an aggressive prosecutor in a court of law.  Many of you reading this can readily identify with this description because "court" is in session daily in your own mind.  

Relentlessly, the internal interrogation continues. Guilt leads to godly sorrow which results in confessing and repenting of wrong doing.  Paul explains that the Old Testament law was designed for this purpose in Romans 3:19, 20:

"Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world  may  become guilty before God.  Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin."

James 2:10 explains that whoever keeps the whole law and yet offends in one point is guilty of all.  Such overwhelming guilt was designed by God to direct us to Jesus Christ. Guilt produces godly sorrow which leads to repentance which results in salvation:

2 Corinthians 7:10 "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death."
 
However, shame is associated with the loss of respect by others and the eradication of self-respect.  It prohibits intimacy with God because we feel unworthy.  Unlike guilt, which is resolved by confession and repentance, shame becomes an identity. 
Shame is the devil's strategy.   For centuries, many have thought shame was the voice of God speaking to their conscience.  But the Bible clearly identifies Satan as the accuser of believers and confirms that he is continually active in this mission in Revelation 12:10.  

Godly sorrow leads to repentance, but shame produces misery, discouragement, and  emotional pain.  Constructive sorrow produces a positive change in behavior and once change is made by reconciliation with God and others, the constructive sorrow of guilt vanishes because its purpose is accomplished.  The devil's shameful accusations remain, however, even after forgiveness has been sought and received.  Such torment haunts the souls of some believers who have walked for 20, 30, or 40 years with the Lord.  They simply cannot forget the shame of their past. 

Shame torments you internally through your conscience and externally through condemnation by others.  Shame moves into your life and establishes a base of operations resulting in what some psychologists call "a shame-based" personality, meaning that every facet of your person is affected by shame’s deadly poison.  Only by God's grace can you deal with the shame of your past.

 

The Nobody Syndrome (Part 5)

The Nobody Syndrome (Part 5) 

Psalm 139:17, 18 “How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.”

David says that the script for your life was already written by God. The Lord has carefully mapped the details that will fill your days, ordaining what will and will not happen. The Hebrew word the Holy Spirit has David use here indicates that God has created each day of your life, tailoring circumstances, establishing boundaries, and fashioning opportunities for His glory and your good. God Himself says it in Jeremiah 29:11:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

God doesn't just set a plan in motion and look the other way. His thoughts are on you constantly. He greets you each morning with fresh mercy and new opportunities, ready to go through the hours with you. He loves your company and He has specific plans that you alone can fulfill.

-He knows you.

-He pursues you.

-He made you with a purpose, and is ready to live out those plans with you each day.

Can you still hear His still, small voice as He says, "I am so glad you are my child. Take my hand. Let's run this race together."

Many small church pastors feel like they've been stepped on, beat up, or kicked around. They often feel unworthy, useless, or that their opinion doesn’t matter. Just know this my friend, you matter to God and so does your opinion.

-Don't let what another pastor or minister does good or bad define you. 

-Don't draw conclusions about yourself based on someone's opinion or the size of your church or ministry.

- Don't allow yourself to feel like a victim instead of getting the victory.

You are not a “Nobody”! Look higher and you will find out how much you and your efforts matter to God. You are somebody special to God in whatever place He puts you in. If God is for you, then who can be against you?

The Nobody Syndrome (Part 4)

The Nobody Syndrome (Part 4) 

Psalms 139:13-16 “ For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them."

It was God who formed you together in your mother's womb. David writes in Verse 13, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." The adverbs in this sentence make it plain that after God made you, He threw away the mold. You are totally unique, a one-of-a-kind, fashioned individual with awe-inspiring skill by God right down to the thumbprint. My dad used to say, "God don't make no junk" and I agree with him.

I used this illustration in a sermon years ago about the super-computer at the Department of Energy's Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico. Components for this super-computer began arriving in the fall of 2006. Thirty-six moving vans full of equipment were needed to complete it. The computer fills a room the size of a hockey rink and consumes as much power as a small town. And the goal is for this computer to do one quadrillion calculations a second. How fast is that? It is roughly a billion times faster than your desktop computer at home. 

Yet, the human brain processes information even faster than this as a yet incomplete computer! Scientists estimate that the brain carries out 10 quadrillion operations a second or 10 times faster than a computer the size of a hockey rink! God created something wonderful when He made you. If you don't like what you see in the mirror, you have been taking your cues from this carnal world rather than your Heavenly Father. There is no one in history made like you.

If the devil tries to inflict you with the “Nobody” Syndrome, think about these facts:

-God gave you a personality, innate abilities, spiritual gifts, and a particular purpose that sets you apart for Him.

-You are His treasured creation and made in His likeness.

-God knows you, wants you and He made you special. Your gifts and talents are His to command. Man may not see your achievements, but God will. Remember, wherever you are you and your work are special to Him. He is with those who are faithful and will see you through every obstacle of life. You are unique and He loves you.

The Nobody Syndrome (Part 3)

The Nobody Syndrome (Part 3) 

Psalm 139:7-12 “Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.”

If you feel like a “nobody” you don’t want to be exposed. You would rather remain in anonymity than risk failure because you're worried what you think your peers have thought of you really will come true. Too many of our brethren live with that fear because of the disconnect they feel because of the size of their congregation and the lack of growth they’ve experienced.

David's fear of total exposure moved him to ponder if there was some retreat, geographically or spiritually, to which he could hide himself away; but God would not let him run away. David shares the though that God is "determined to give me grace, and to be involved in my life."

That's what David is saying in Verse 10 when he says, “If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.” 

You know what this means, don't you? 

-You are wanted by God. 

-You are not a “nobody” in God’s sight. 

-You see this confirmed over and over in the Bible, 

-You are called God's beloved, chosen, dearly loved child. 

-You are told that nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus. 

When you feel the crushing weight of loneliness and wonder if you would be missed if you were gone, remember this. What you are doing where you are for the Kingdom is just as important as the pastor of the largest church. Man may not give recognition, but God does and will honor your faithfulness to His cause. Sometimes you feel unappreciated, but God is keeping a record of your faithfulness. That's all that really matters in the end!

He loves you and He pledges to you that you belong to Him because of your faith in Christ Jesus. God knows you and wants you. His pursuit of you is because you’re not a “nobody”, but a “somebody” to Him.

The Nobody Syndrome (Part 2)

The Nobody Syndrome (Part 2)

Psalm 139:1-6 “O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.”

There are eight different Hebrew words in the opening six verses of Psalm 139 that line up to tell you that God knows your story intimately.

Each of these words convey a different layer of God's knowledge of you. Combined, they picture God like a detective, tracking even your most ordinary activities, studying you even when you think you're all alone. He dissects your inner world into parts, discerning what makes you tick and why you do what you do. He has such a grasp of you on a programming level that He knows precisely what you will say or do next, as if it had already been uttered or performed.

So God knows:

-Your heart, fears, thoughts, motives, dreams, and frustrations.

-Your past, present and your future. He understands you more than you understand yourself.

-All that’s going on around you, with you, and inside you.

God just gets you. He has you anointed you more than you even imagine. You think your motive for doing ministry is your profession, when God knows you're obeying His calling in your life without regard of personal sacrifice. He knows exactly where you are, even if your peers and officials don’t recognize the hard work you do for the Kingdom. 

When David says that God has laid His hand upon him, he's referring to the Old Testament practice of bestowing a blessing on someone. A wise father would place his hands on his children and speak words into their lives about their present, what their place in the family meant, and what their future will be. This was one of the most important acts that happened in Hebrew families.

In the same way, your Heavenly Father who knows you intimately bestows blessing on you, borne out of love, that marks your place in His family and what your future is all about. In His family, nobodies are non-existent. So should it be within a church denomination or organization. Every contribution, even as small as a widow's mite, is important to our Father God.

Flawed (Part 5)

Flawed (Part 5)

Hebrews 13:5 "Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, and today, and forever."

You have to fully accept who you are today before you can reach forward and be an overcomer in your future. If you try to make changes in reaching tomorrow's goals without accepting who your are today you feel completely unsatisfied with where you're going, You have to accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are today. Your flaws can prohibit your future from being completed if they control your thoughts today.

As a Christian you must remember God’s work in the past, but you must also be aware of what God is doing today. We look to God’s activity in the past to remind ourselves that God’s promises are for us now and for our future. God is still active in the world today, changing lives, healing and saving. The best is not behind us, but the best is yet to come. You just have to see it today and accept it personally.

You cannot be afraid of your future. Jesus reminds you to live each day knowing the love and care of God and to allow the future to worry about itself.  Jesus said in Matthew 6:34: 

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” 

Jesus also promised in Matthew 28:20:

“Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” 

The story of God’s people in the Old Testament and the New Testament is one of God’s faithfulness. When God made a promise He kept that promise. However, it is also a story of human faithlessness as the people of God grew weary of faith and tired of hope. Over and over again they gave up on God, but God never gave up on them. God will not give up on you now and never will. God is with you always. It is not what you were that matters to Him, but it's what you are now.

Remember what God has done for you today as well as in the past. The Christian faith is based upon God’s faithfulness in the past which you can take personally. We look back to the Old Testament and Isaiah’s prophecy came to pass, which was the people marched back through the desert home to Jerusalem. After almost two thousand years in exile from AD 70 to 1948, the Jewish people found a home again in the land of Israel. What God promised to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob 1900 years before Jesus is still God’s promise over 2000 years after. For us as Christians we look to Jesus, the Messiah of Israel and Savior of the whole world. In Jesus, God Himself paid the penalty for our sins. In Jesus, God came into the world to be one of us; nothing human is foreign to this God. In Jesus, God is with us now and will be forever. God will never leaves us or forsake us.

Isaiah 43:1, 2 says:

“But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

The verb tense used here is the present tense. God was not only with people in the past, but God is with you today. God did not only save long ago, but God is saving you right now.

It is too easy for most of us over fifty years old, to look back to the days when churches were growing and expanding. You could announce a goal for 300 attendance on a special day and three hundred people or more would show up. Yet, that past is not coming back. So you the Church must be daring and innovative, living in the present and preparing for what is to come, by looking past your flaws to the God of today.

God’s love and salvation is not just for yesterday but today and tomorrow and all the tomorrows to come. Jesus is with us even to the end of the age. Embrace and make peace with where you are today, and your journey toward something new will feel much more peaceful, rewarding, and satisfying.